fandomcorner | Fic: As It Should Be (Clark/Lex)

Title: As It Should Be
Author: Hils
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: Takes place during Witness. Clark decides he’s through lying to Lex.
HUGE thanks to

vichan for the beta!

The moment Clark knocked Lex unconscious was the moment he decided he was through with lying. He’d hurt his best friend, could have killed him if he’d even slightly misjudged how much strength to put behind the blow to Lex’s head. It wasn’t meant to be like this. They’d become so close over the last few weeks and Lex had even moved from gentle teasing to open flirting. Clark knew his feelings for Lex went beyond friendship but he had yet to accept Lex’s offer of spending the night. Now Lex was lying on the ground, a bruise already forming and there was every chance Clark had ruined any chance he might have had with Lex.

“I’m sorry,” Clark whispered, brushing his fingers over the swollen lump. “I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, I promise.”

First he had a truck filled with kryptonite to intercept.

* * *

He didn’t think he’d ever been more nervous in his life than he was now, hovering in Lex’s office waiting for him to finish on the phone. With Pete, the confession had been spontaneous with no thought behind it. This time he’d been awake all night practising what he was going to say and he was certain that when it came to it that he’d forget everything he’d rehearsed.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Clark.” Lex said with a smile as he hung up the phone. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Clark replied, wondering for a moment if he was going to puke on Lex’s no doubt very expensive floor. “Uh, do you have some water?”

“Of course.” Lex fixed himself a drink and handed a bottle of water to Clark. “Are you sure you’re ok? You look pale.”

“I’m fine, Lex, really. How are you?”

Lex gave a thin smile and rubbed his hand over the lump on the back of his head. “I’m starting to think my life is one big concussion.”

Clark winced. He didn’t think it was possible for him to feel any more guilty than he already did, but Lex had apparently proven him wrong. He still couldn’t believe what he’d done to him.

Lex, apparently mistaking Clark’s guilt for worry, gave his arm a squeeze. “It’s ok. It doesn’t really hurt any more.”

Clark took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Lex, I need to tell you something. Can we sit down?”

Lex’s face sobered at the tone in Clark’s voice. “Of course.”

He took a seat on the couch and motioned for Clark to sit beside him. Clark took another deep breath. “I’m not really sure how to say this.”

Lex put his hand on top of Clark’s, seemingly sensing that this was something important and somehow that just made it more difficult. He closed his eyes. “You did hit me with your car.”

He felt Lex’s hand withdraw and opened his eyes. The look on Lex’s face was a mixture of fascination, confusion and satisfaction.

“Go on,” Lex said in a carefully controlled voice.

“You hit me and knocked me into the river with you. I ripped the roof off your car, pulled you out and carried you to the river bank.”

“You ripped the roof off my car? Clark, no human being could do what you’re describing. Did the meteor shower do something to you?”

Clark shook his head sadly. “Not exactly. The meteor shower is when I came to Earth.”

“So you’re, what, an alien?”

Clark nodded. Well, Lex wasn’t screaming or freaking out. That was something, right? He decided to carry on. “My real name is Kal-El. I’m from a planet called Krypton. It was destroyed but before that happened my father sent me here, to protect me I guess. I only just found that part out. Before that I didn’t really know what I was.”

Lex was on his feet now, pacing the office, and Clark could almost hear the thoughts whirling in his head. “Lex?”

Lex stopped. “That day at the hospital. Your ribs were broken.”

“I got struck by lightning and somehow it transferred my powers to Eric for a while.”

“And the time you got sick?”

“I inhaled some dust from the meteor rocks – Kryptonite- it’s the only thing that can hurt me.”

Lex looked at Clark, really looked at him. It felt for a moment like Lex was the one with X-Ray vision. It made him want to sink as far back into the couch as he could.

“Clark, why are you telling me this? Why now after all this time? You’ve suddenly decided I’m trustworthy enough for this big secret of yours?”

Clark lowered his eyes. “I hurt you. No secret is worth hurting my friends just to protect it.”

Lex’s hand instinctively went to the lump on the back of his head. “You did this to me.”

It wasn’t a question.

“I’m sorry, Lex. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wasn’t thinking.”

Lex was pacing again now, biting his carefully kept nails and looking far from calm.

“So you thought you would tell me all this and everything would be ok? My best friend is an alien. Jesus, Clark-” Lex laughed. “That’s not even your real name though. Kal-El was it? Our entire friendship is fake. I don’t even know who the hell you are!”

Clark rose slowly, not sure what any sudden movement would do to Lex in this state. “Lex, it’s me. I’m still Clark. I’m still your friend. I can just do things that other people can’t.”

Lex laughed again. It was a chilling sound. “But you’re not people. You’re not human and the weird thing is, I don’t have a problem with that. I’ve seen a lot of strange things since I came to Smallville. You were there for most of it. You must have realised I would have protected your secret. I told you once before, I’ll do anything for my friends. You’re not my friend, Clark. Friends trust each other.”

Clark wanted to reach out, to touch Lex, to help him understand but he sensed that physical contact wasn’t what Lex needed right now. “It was nothing to do with not trusting you, Lex. I tell you more things than I tell anyone else apart from my parents. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. The day I told Pete someone kidnapped him and was going to torture him if he didn’t give me up. If I hadn’t got there in time…and I couldn’t stand the thought of something like that happening to you.”

“Pete knows? Well, your secret isn’t that precious now, is it?”

“It wasn’t like that. He found my ship. He was going to tell the world about it. I had to tell him.”

That seemed to capture Lex’s interest. “Ship? Right, from the meteor shower.”

Again Clark lowered his eyes, flinching as Lex ran his fingers over his bald head. “So many people’s lives got messed up the day I arrived.”

He felt the tears stinging in his eyes. He’d hurt so many people and now Lex was looking at him with something that was dangerously close to disgust. He knew right then that his friend was lost to him, and it was more than he could stand.

“I know you don’t owe me anything, and that you probably never want to see me or speak to me again but, Lex, please promise you won’t tell anyone about me. I should have trusted you a long time ago but I’m trusting you now. Please.”

Lex’s face softened ever so slightly but Clark had never felt more like an alien than he did now. “I’m not promising anything, Clark. I need time to think. You know the way out.”

Without another word, Lex walked out of the room and left Clark alone.

* * *

Lex didn’t really think about where he was going until he stopped walking. His private room. The place he went when we wanted to be alone and could be certain he wouldn’t be disturbed. Unfortunately it was the worst place he could have gone. All around him were pictures and videos of Clark. Even that damn simulation of the car accident. He was trying to get away from Clark and now he was surrounded by him.

Lex looked around the room. This was all the evidence he’d gathered on Clark since they’d first met. Exposing him would be so easy. All it would take was one phone call to the Daily Planet. They’d have reporters here within the hour. The whole world would know Clark’s secret. He wouldn’t be able to lie anymore. He wouldn’t need to lie. His photo would be everywhere, his name would be on everyone’s lips. Doctors and scientists would be queuing to examine Clark and experiment with his abilities.

Lex pulled his phone out of his pocket, his fingers hovering over the buttons. This was so much bigger than either of them. The scientific world needed to know. Imagine the good that could be done. Clark’s blood could be used for medical research, to help make people as invulnerable as he was. He’d be helping millions if he made this call.

Then he thought about Clark. What sort of life would he have if his secret was exposed. Poked and prodded by doctors, caged like an animal. Lex shuddered. He knew all too well what it was like to be treated like a freak. He must have met every doctor in the world in the few months after he lost his hair. He wasn’t sure he would want that for anyone, even if Clark had been responsible in the first place.

His eyes moved over to what was left of his Porsche. Clark had been wrong when he said that Lex didn’t owe him anything. He owed him his life. If it weren’t for Clark he’d be dead at the bottom of the river right now.

He put his phone back in his pocket.

Walking into the middle of the room Lex hadn’t realised just how small this it was. The walls seemed to be closing in around him and all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. Clark was there. Clark was everywhere, his face bearing down on him, smiling and laughing at him from every picture and screen. Lex fumbled with the collar of his shirt. Why couldn’t he breathe? He stumbled into one of the screens and it fell to the floor with a smash. Instantly the air felt lighter.

With a cry Lex tore into the rest of the room, ripping down photos and smashing anything he could get his hands on. He had to get Clark out of his life. Every photo, every video had to be destroyed. He’d never rest until everything was gone, until Clark was gone. He couldn’t laugh at him if he wasn’t here.

Except now he was on his knees in the middle of the room and Clark, the real Clark, was shaking his shoulders. There was no hint of mocking or laughter on Clark’s face, just pure concern and worry. It took all of Lex’s strength not to melt into his arms. He was suddenly so very tired.

“Lex?” Clark asked slowly, gently. “Are you ok?”

Lex laughed, bordering on hysterical. “Oh, Clark, I really don’t know any more.”

“You’re bleeding.”

Lex looked down and sure enough, his fingers were bleeding freely. He hadn’t even noticed. “Oh.”

Clark frowned. “I…Lex…can I…let me help you?”

Lex nodded. He didn’t know what else to do really. The chances were if he didn’t let Clark help him he was just going to sit in the ruins of this room until he lost his mind. He let Clark help him to his feet.

“I thought I told you to leave,” Lex said quietly as they walked up the stairs to his bedroom.

“I was going to, but then I heard the crashing and I was worried. I thought maybe someone was hurting you.”

Lex looked down at his bloodied hands. “No, I seem to be able to manage that by myself.”

“I’m sorry, Lex. Really, I am. I never meant for this to happen.”

They moved into the bedroom and Clark sat Lex down on the end of the bed. “I’ll get some disinfectant and some bandages.”

As Clark moved to leave Lex reached out and caught hold of his wrist, ignoring the way it made his fingers sting. “Why are you helping me? You still don’t know what I’ve decided to do with your secret.”

“Lex, I’m helping you because you’re my friend, you’re hurt and I care about you.”

Clark said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world and that Lex had been stupid even to ask.

“Wait,” Lex said as Clark moved to leave again. He pulled himself to his feet and brushed his fingers over Clark’s face, leaving bloody trails in their wake. “I care about you too, Clark. I’ll keep your secret but you have to promise me something.”

Clark frowned. “What?”

“No more lies. And if there’s something I can help with in relation to all this you tell me. No more nonsense about trying to protect me, ok?”

This whole ordeal was worth it for the smile that Clark gave Lex. “Okay. Now, sit down and I’ll clean your hands up for you.”

Lex watched with a smile as Clark busied himself getting supplies from the bathroom. Right now the idea of giving him up to anyone seemed insane. But then, it had been an insane day.

He watched as Clark came back to the bedroom and started to clean and bandage his hands. It was amazing that someone as strong and powerful as Clark could be so gentle.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Clark asked, causing Lex to wonder if mind reading was among Clark’s abilities.

“No,” he replied.

“Good. I’m done.”

It was over far too quickly. Lex had been enjoying the feel of Clark’s hands on his. He looked up at Clark and smiled. “Uh, you have some of my blood on your face. Let me.”

He took one of the wipes and carefully swiped it over Clark’s cheek.

“Thanks,” Clark replied with a blush. “So, what do we do now?”

There were so many answers to that question but Lex was too sore and too tired. “I don’t know about you but I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Clark smiled. “Yeah, I’m pretty drained. I’ll head home and you can get some rest.”

“The bed’s big enough for two, Clark. If you don’t mind sharing.”

Clark blushed again. “I don’t mind, Lex. If you don’t mind sharing your bed with an alien.”

Lex responded by kicking off his shoes and laying down, too exhausted to bother removing the rest of his clothes. Clark walked around to the other side of the bed and lay down beside him.

“Lex?”

“Mm-hm?”

“I’m glad we’re still friends.”

“Me too, Clark.”

Tomorrow Lex would show Clark just how much of a good friend he could be.

Clark, apparently reading his mind again (Lex would have to ask him about that later), rolled over and curled up against Lex with one arm draped over his waist. Lex responded by turning onto his side so that he was facing Clark. He felt safe and protected for the first time since Pamela had left. He placed a soft kiss on Clark’s forehead and drifted off to sleep known that for once everything was just as it should be.

The End.