fandomcorner | Fic: Nothing Clean

Title: Nothing Clean
Author: Hils
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: Clark has a problem
Thanks to

myownghost for the beta
Dedicated to

mskatej. She knows why.

An amused smile curled on Lex’s lips as he watched Clark, elbow deep in water and thrashing frantically. All previous plans he’d had to take down Superman were nothing compared to this. It was genius really.

“It’s not funny,” Clark snapped.

“I beg to differ.”

“People need me!”

Lex shrugged nonchalantly. “There’s nothing to stop you from going to them.”

“I can’t save people looking like this! I don’t understand! I’ve tried everything!”

Another shrug from Lex. “Don’t you have another uniform?”

Clark sighed again. “Lex, my mom made this uniform out of the blanket she found me in when I landed on Earth. No, there is not another one.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, Lex, you’re the scientist here. There must be something you can do. It’s your fault, after all.”

“Ah, there it is. I was wondering how long it would take you to start hurling accusations at me again. For your information I have security tapes that show that I was not the instigator of this incident.”

When Clark’s cheeks flushed red, Lex knew that he had won. It felt good. Now that victory was his, he had fewer qualms about helping Clark.

“Have you tried a dry cleaner?”

“I can’t take my one and only suit into a dry cleaner. It’ll give away my identity for a start.”

“Have you tried washing it?”

Clark rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’ve tried washing it. The stain won’t come out.”

“So, it’s as indestructible as you are?”

“Apparently.”

“Well, have you tried some kryptonite on it?”

Clark was silent for a moment as he processed the fact that he hadn’t thought of this before.

“Uh…”

“I have some liquid kryptonite in one of my labs. I can try it if you want.”

Clark shoved the uniform at Lex with a petulant frown. “I don’t even want to know why you have liquid kryptonite.”

Lex nodded. “That works for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He walked towards the door and then looked back over his shoulder. “Next time, take the uniform off before we start the foreplay.”

The mortified look on Clark’s face was enough to cause Lex to hum all the way down to his lab. Today was a good day.

The End.