Fic: Unexpected (2/2) (Buffy/Spike)
Jun. 12th, 2007 06:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fandomcornerTitle: Unexpected
Author: Hils
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: B/S, a bit of B/R
Spoilers: General season 5
Summary: Set some time after Fool For Love. Buffy finds help in a surprising place.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of these characters. It all belongs to Joss and co.
Please note I wrote this fic in Dec 2000, back when I was very new to writing. It has not had a beta
Buffy pulled herself out of his embrace and looked at the floor. What had she been thinking? Spike sat back down on the bed, numbly confused. Was it something he'd done?...Of course it was, he'd just bloody kissed her. For a brief moment she'd actually kissed him back and he'd felt happiness that he'd never experienced before, not even with Dru. But she'd pulled away, she hated him. What had he expected? She had her soldier boy to keep her happy.
Buffy sat down heavily on the chair and put her head in her hands, this was not good, everything was so muddled. Riley...Angel...and now Spike too. What am I meant to do?
"I'm sorry" Said Spike softly
Buffy looked up at him, tears in her eyes.
Great you idiot, now you've made her cry. Wanker!
Ignoring the screaming pain in his ribs Spike knelt beside her and wrapped his arms around her now heaving shoulders.
"I'm so sorry love, that was a really stupid thing to do. I don't know what came over me, I'm an idiot."
Buffy buried her head in his shoulder, crying softly and relishing in the comfort that his arms gave her.
"It's not you," she whispered between sobs "things are just so mixed up at the moment. I don't want to talk about it. "
She pulled away and looked at him. The pain in his eyes almost reflected her own. She brushed the tears away, feeling really stupid for crying in front of him. Seeing that she'd stopped crying Spike got up and sat back on the bed.
Buffy looked at the floor, feeling more stupid by the minute. Spike said nothing. Finally, after a few minutes she spoke.
"It's dark, we should really get going in case Leon decides to show up."
"Buffy. I..."
"No Spike, don't" she interrupted "I don't want to talk about it, any of it."
"But..."
"Spike, please."
He wanted to press on but when he saw the pain in her tear filled eyes he closed his mouth. She stood up and offered him her arm, this time he accepted having no desire to come close to fainting again. Arm in arm and in silence the couple left the mansion and made their way through the cemetery towards Buffy's house.
******
As they walked the silence was almost deafening, they were both still trying to digest everything that had just gone on. Spike was desperate for Buffy to tell him what was bothering her, he hated the idea that she was in pain. He decided to try once more and if she still didn't want to talk then he would drop it for good.
" You know it might help to tell me what's going on. I know I'm not the best person to talk to and there are probably a hundred people you'd talk to before me, but I'll listen if you want."
Buffy looked across at him. What was with his sudden desire to be in share-mode? Despite herself she did find herself wanting to talk, she hadn't spoken to anyone since finding out about Angel.
"Angel's coming back to Sunnydale tonight. It's just stirred up a lot of memories."
Spike stared at her for a moment, not really sure what to say. So, his sire was coming back to Sunnyhell, this made things interesting. He wondered what Angel would have to say about everything that was going on, he hadn't seen him since he'd been moping over Dru all those months ago. So much had changed since then. He bet Angel would have a good laugh about the chip and what his childe had been reduced to. Then he remembered Buffy, this was going to be so much harder on her, especially with soldier boy hanging around like a bad smell.
"You still love him don't you?"
Part of him already knew the answer, and it was one he didn't want to hear. He was never going to be what Angel was to her, he was nothing, a soulless demon. He had been insane to think that Buffy would ever see him as anything more.
Spike's question threw Buffy a little. It was true that Angel held a place in her heart that no one else could take, and in that sense she did still love him, but since meeting Riley she'd learnt that she had to move on. She remembered the last conversation she'd had with Angel. We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. They had both moved on but it didn't stop it hurting when she saw him.
"I still care about him" she answered carefully "but we're not part of each other's lives anymore. Seeing him just reminds me of everything we've been through, but I'm not going to sit around and mope. I've moved on, I have Riley now."
Spike scoffed. Angel he could understand, but not Riley.
"What do you see in him love? He doesn't strike me as being the sort of bloke that could keep you happy."
Buffy pulled away from him and stopped, glaring at him.
"What do you know about what makes me happy. Riley is sweet and kind and I happen to be *very* happy with him."
"Really? Then why did you kiss me before? You're the Slayer and no matter how hard you try, a normal guy is never going to be enough for you. The Slayer craves danger like an alcoholic craves booze. You're never going to find that in a guy like him."
Spike stepped a little closer.
"You need a bit of monster in your man and deep down you know it."
"That's not true." Replied Buffy with a little less certainty in her voice. It was like Spike was looking inside her thoughts. "What gives you the right to tell me what I need in my life."
Spike stepped even closer, put his hands gently on her shoulders and looked at her. Buffy looked up at him and gasped slightly when she saw the fire and the emotion in his piercing blue eyes.
"Because I know you." He said softly.
It was true, Buffy could see it in his eyes. He knew her. This wasn't the first time he'd told her something that she couldn't admit to herself. She remembered when he'd told her and Angel that they could never be friends. She didn't know what it was that made him so perceptive but she knew that this was one of those times. She had to accept that Riley wasn't going to be enough for her....and to face the fact that she was becoming increasingly attracted to Spike. Closing her eyes she leaned up and kissed him.
This hadn't quite been the reaction Spike had expected but he certainly wasn't going to complain. He cupped her face in his hand and kissed her back. Suddenly it felt as if everything else in the world had ceased to exist, like nothing else mattered. A small moan escaped Buffy's lips as Spike moved his mouth from her lips to the crook of her neck and began to kiss the soft skin.
At that moment Angel entered the cemetery, figuring Buffy would be out patrolling. He wanted to talk to her alone before they met at Giles'. This wasn't an easy situation for either of them to be in. As he roamed between the gravestones his suddenly stopped in his tracks as he saw Spike with his face buried in a girl's neck, obviously feeding. His childe was clearly more stupid than Angel had first thought. Why on earth would he have come back to Sunnydale after the incident with the Gem of Amarra? He wondered whether Buffy knew that Spike was back. He pulled out a stake and walked slowly towards the blonde vampire. As he got closer his eyes went wide with shock and horror. The girl *was* Buffy...and Spike was killing her! In an instant Angel tackled Spike to the ground, picking him up by the lapels of his shirt and punching him twice before throwing him into the side of a nearby crypt where he fell and lay motionless at the foot of it. Angel raised his stake, ready to end this for good. He was about to plunge it into Spike's heart when someone kicked it out of his hand. He turned and found himself facing Buffy. Forgetting Spike for the moment he pulled her into his arms.
"Buffy are you alright?" He whispered, overcome with relief that Spike hadn't killed her. After a second of not responding Buffy pulled away.
"Angel, what are you doing?" She asked, confusion and a hint of anger in her voice. Was this some sort of jealousy thing?
"I thought Giles told you I was coming." Now it was Angel's turn to be confused, she was acting a little strangely considering he'd just saved her life.
"No I don't mean why are you here, I mean why did you just attack Spike. I can understand if you're jealous that I have feelings for another vampire but I really don't think that killing him is going to make things any better."
Angel stared at her. Was she insane, delirious from losing blood?
"Buffy, what are you talking about? I saw him feeding on you so I stopped him."
"You saw him doing *what*? Spike wasn't feeding on me. Why would you think....oh."
Buffy suddenly realised how it must have looked to Angel and had to stop herself from smiling a little. She turned her neck to him so that he could see there was no wound.
"If he wasn't feeding on you then what was he...ARE YOU CRAZY??" Angel suddenly realised that he had actually walked into something which was to total opposite of the attack he thought he'd seen. "You..and Spike?"
Buffy flinched a little when he shouted, this wasn't going well. Suddenly her eyes fell back on Spike who was still lying on the ground. She ran over and knelt down next to him, he was out cold. Tears filled her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair and down his cheek. This was the second time in twenty four hours that he'd taken a beating because of her. She looked back up at Angel.
"I don't suppose you've got your car nearby?"
Angel nodded "It's out by the gate."
"We were headed to my house. Can you help me carry him?"
Angel picked up Spike's legs while Buffy lifted his arms. It didn't take them much effort to carry him to Angel's car and lie him across the back seats. They got into the front and Angel drove them the short distance to Buffy's house
*****
When they arrived Buffy and Angel carried Spike upstairs and put him to bed in the spare room. As Buffy placed a blanket over him Spike let out a small groan. She looked back at Angel who was stood in the doorway watching her.
"Angel, can you give me a minute."
"I'll wait downstairs."
She turned back to Spike who had now opened his eyes and was looking at her.
"Are you alright?" She asked with concern. "Spike, I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen to you."
He kissed her hand "It's not your fault love. Is...uh...he still here."
Buffy nodded.
"You should go and talk to him."
Buffy nodded again before leaning down and kissing him softly.
"I'll come back up and check on you later. I've got some blood in the fridge, I'll bring you some before I go to bed."
Spike nodded and closed his eyes. He found that he healed faster when he was asleep and it seemed like a good way of ignoring all the pain he was in. Buffy switched the light off and went downstairs.
Angel was pacing backwards and forwards, trying to get his head around everything he had seen. He stopped when he saw Buffy. She gestured for him to sit down and when he did so she sat on the chair across from him.
"Angel. A lot has happened since you were last here. I guess I should start from the beginning."
With that she told the whole story. The Initiative, Riley, Spike's chip, how he'd helped her when she wanted to know about the Slayer's he'd killed, the fight with Leon, Spike saving her and she finished with the kiss and Angel's arrival.
Angel sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Buffy, you have to understand that this is a lot for me to take in. I can deal with all the stuff about Riley, but this thing with Spike. I can't pretend to understand or to like it. Just promise me that you'll think carefully about it before you take it any further. I know he can't hurt anyone at the moment but if he ever gets that chip out of his head...at the end of the day he's still a demon. As much as I don't like Riley, he can give you some sort of normal life. I don't want you to throw all that away."
A look of disappointment and anger crossed Buffy's face. She had hoped that Angel of all people would understand how she could have feelings for a vampire. Spike's words still rung in her ears.
"Maybe I don't want a normal life. I'm the Slayer, it doesn't exactly scream normality. I don't think I have to remind you that I was happy with you until you up and left. Why shouldn't I have feelings for another vampire. Here was I thinking you'd understand."
Angel looked hurt, Buffy's words had cut deep. He couldn't deny that it was him who had ended their relationship even though it had hurt them both. He also knew that he couldn't hold Spike's past against him as he himself had done things far worse. He sighed.
"All I'm saying is be careful. Look it's late, you should get some sleep. Come over to Giles' in the morning and we'll talk about what to do with Leon."
Buffy nodded. "Angel, I'm sorry to just drop this on you. Believe me I never planned for this to happen. Would you mind not saying anything to the others yet. I need some time to think."
Angel walked over the door and turned back to look at her.
"Sure. Goodnight Buffy."
"Goodnight."
After Angel had left Buffy sat in silence for a minute. Why was all this happening at once? Yesterday her life had been as normal as it was ever going to be and now in true Sunnydale style it was a mess again. Despite her brain telling her that this thing with Spike was insanity she couldn't forget the feel of his lips upon hers, or the depth of his eyes that seemed to look right into her soul. She shook her head. Angel was right, it was late and maybe she'd be thinking a bit more clearly after she'd had some sleep. She drew all the blinds and heated up some blood for Spike before going upstairs.
She knocked on the door and when there was no answer she walked in. Spike was still sleeping. Part of her didn't want to wake him but she knew that he needed to feed and that the blood would help him heal. She sat on the bed beside him and gently shook his shoulder.
"Spike, I've got some blood for you." She said softly
He opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"Thanks pet" he said groggily before draining the mug of its contents. "How did it go with Angel?"
Buffy sighed "Not so good. I think he just needs a bit of time to take in everything I told him."
Spike nodded and then reached up and put one of hands on her cheek.
"You look tired love. Maybe you should get some sleep."
"I'm just going to bed now. I've closed all the blinds in case you decide to get up in the morning. I know that's normally your sleepy time. I'm going to over to Giles' to talk Leon so you'll have the place to yourself. There's blood in the fridge and just help yourself to the TV and stuff."
Giving him a quick kiss Buffy stood up.
"Goodnight Spike."
"Goodnight pet."
Closing the door behind her Buffy went to her own room, changed into her pyjamas and got into bed. Fairly certain of not having a good night's sleep with all the thoughts of the day still churning in her head she settled down and closed her eyes. She was asleep in no time.
* * *
Buffy awoke to the smell of bacon frying. She lay in bed for a moment, her eyes closed, savouring the smell. It was comforting, reminding her of home. Her mom always cooked bacon for her. Buffy's eyes snapped open. Mom! She was home early, and Buffy had a vampire sleeping in the house. How was she going to explain it? Buffy leapt out of bed, ran down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen. She stopped and clamped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud. Spike was humming to himself and flipping the bacon to cook it evenly. Almost as if he sensed Buffy he turned round to see her with a huge grin on her face.
"What?" He asked sounding a little irritated. This wasn't the reaction he'd expected at his attempt to cook her breakfast.
Buffy tried to wipe the smile from her face.
"Nothing!" She exclaimed. "I've just never seen your domesticated side before. In fact, I didn't even know you *could* cook."
Spike turned his attention back to the cooking food.
"Well, there happens to be a cookery programme on just before Passions. I picked up a few things."
Buffy smiled at the new side of Spike she was seeing. It would almost be cute, if he wasn't a vampire.
"You eat bacon? Never struck me as being vamp food."
Spike scowled.
"It's for you. Just something to say...you know...thanks for helping me out and letting me stay here."
Buffy's smile changed from amusement to warmth.
"You don't need to thank me. You saved me and Riley, I think you more than deserve a couple of night's protection."
Spike frowned at the mention of Riley's name, knowing that once he came round she'd no doubt forget the kiss from last night. Still, while he was here at least he could savour the time he had with her. He turned his attention back to the food he was cooking and saw that it was done. Putting it onto a plate he handed it to her. Buffy took a bite and smiled. It was good. Seeing Buffy smile at something he'd done for her gave Spike a warm fuzzy feeling inside. He'd never felt like this before, not even with Dru. Buffy walked into the living room and he followed.
As Buffy sat on the couch Spike wondered where he should sit. He desperately wanted to sit next to her, to be as close as he could. On the other hand she'd made no mention of last night's events so far, chances were that she regretted the whole thing and would push him away if he tried anything now. Of all the tortures in the world, her pushing him away would probably kill him.
Deciding to go halfway he sat on the other end of the couch, making sure there was a reasonable amount of space between them. As he eased himself down he winced as the now all too familiar pain cut through his ribs. This did not go unnoticed by Buffy.
"How are you feeling this morning?" She noticed that the cuts on his face had healed overnight but he was clearly still in pain.
"Still a bit tender," he admitted. "But I'll live."
He smiled at his own words, realising exactly what he'd just said.
"Well, not live exactly. You know what I mean."
Buffy smiled. The fact that he still had his sense of humour was a good indication that he was well on the road to recovery. Her smile faded and a silence fell on the room as they both considered what to say next.
"So," began Buffy after a couple of minutes. "I guess we need to talk."
"I guess so."
"About last night…"
"No, wait." Spike cut in. "There's something I need to say."
Buffy nodded and Spike took an unneeded deep breath, not quite believing what he was about to say.
"I think we should take things slowly."
Buffy's face was expressionless so he continued.
"Last night I told you a few home truths which were clearly a lot closer to home than I'd thought. I don't want you to think I'm saying this because I don't want to be with you, I do….more than anything. The point is I don't want to be the rebound bloke. Things don't work out with soldier boy so you just jump on the next guy who comes along. Plus there's the whole issue of Angel being here. Things must seem pretty mixed up at the moment and I have no desire to have my dead heart broken when you decide to come to your senses. What I'm trying to say is that I want you to wait until you're sure about how you feel before we take this any further."
Buffy stared at him, it was like looking at a stranger. There wasn't even a hint of the cocky, arrogant guy that she was so used to being around. Hearing him talk just made her realise how unbelievably wonderful he was. She smiled and slid across the couch so that she was sat next to him.
"You are so sweet." She whispered before kissing him on the cheek.
"Don't tell anyone," he grinned. "I've got a reputation to protect."
Buffy smiled and glanced down at her watch.
"I'm late!" She yelled, jumping to her feet. "I was meant to meet Angel at Giles' ten minutes ago."
She ran upstairs, threw on some clothes, stuffed a bag with some weapons and then ran back downstairs.
"Listen Spike, take it easy today and come over to Giles' tonight. You fought this guy as well and might be able to help with a strategy."
She leant down and planted a quick kiss on his lips before running out of the front door
Spike sighed and leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. His lips still burned from her kiss and for the first time in months he felt happy.
******
Buffy didn't bother with the formality of knocking, instead she just walked into Giles' lounge, panting from the running she'd done between her house and his.
"Sorry I'm late." She gasped. "I slept in."
Giles, Angel and Riley looked up from where they were sitting. Buffy wasn't sure if she was imagining it but there appeared to be the smallest hint of hurt in Angel's eyes. Had he guessed that the reason she was so late was because she was talking to Spike about the possibility of a future relationship?
Buffy sat down.
"Angel what can you tell us?"
"Jealousy." Said Angel, as if that one word explained it all. The others looked puzzled.
"It's his strength." He explained. "But it's also his weakness. Jealousy gives him power, strength but it also clouds his mind, it drives him so crazy that he can't think straight. If we play on this he'll get sloppy and as soon as he makes a mistake, which he will, we strike."
"You have a plan?" Asked Giles who was a little wary of jumping into battle without being fully prepared. It wasn't that he doubted Buffy's ability, but there was no point in taking unnecessary risks.
"It seems to me," said Riley. "That the best way of getting the guy to slip up is by sending Angel here to pay him a visit. You said yourself that the reason he's so crazy is because of what went on with you and Darla. I think seeing you would be more than enough to get him wound up."
Buffy, Giles and Angel stared at him. Finally Buffy spoke.
"You can't be suggesting that we let Angel fight him single-handed."
Riley sighed, he had to say that the thought had crossed his mind, the less danger Buffy was in the better. He knew that she'd never go along with it so he shook his head
"Of course not. What I'm suggesting is that Angel go and ruffle Leon's feathers a bit and we'll be on standby ready to attack when we're needed."
Buffy glanced at Angel and Giles. Riley's plan did make sense, although she wasn't happy with the idea of Angel facing him alone. Their faces expressed the same feelings that she was having.
"Alright, that settles it then." Said Angel "As soon as the sun goes down I'll head out and you guys can follow me. Just stay out of sight until I signal you."
Riley and Buffy nodded. Angel stood up.
"I should get some sleep. Meet me back here just before sundown"
Giles took Angel upstairs to show him to the spare room, leaving Buffy and Riley alone together.
"Buffy, we really need to talk."
She nodded, knowing that she couldn't put it off any longer.
He turned to face her.
"Buffy, I know things are difficult for you at the moment with Angel coming back and everything, but I'm feeling like you're shutting me out of your life. I want to help you but I can't unless you tell me what you're feeling."
Buffy looked at the floor. If she told him what she was feeling at the moment she doubted that he'd like it very much.
"Riley, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm shutting you out but I need time to sort my head out. You're right, things are difficult at the moment. I've got a lot to think about and I just need some space. Please try to understand."
He despertaley wanted to understand, but he couldn't see why she was acting like this. He'd always felt that it helped to talk about problems and not keep them bottled up like she was doing.
"I don't understand...but if you need your space, I can do that. I just want you to know that when you're ready to talk, I'm here for you."
She smiled sadly.
"I know."
Standing up she leant down and kissed Riley on the cheek.
"I'm going to take a leaf out of Angel's book and go to sleep for a couple of hours. I didn't sleep very well last night and I want to be fully charged for tonight. I'll see you later."
Riley watched as Buffy walked out of the door. He hoped she'd open up to him sooner rather than later.
******
Buffy opened the door, dropped her bag on the floor and sighed loudly. She'd had the perfect chance to tell Riley exactly what was going on but she'd lost her nerve. As she walked into the living room she saw that the tv was on and Spike was fast asleep on the couch where she'd left him. Smiling she turned the tv off and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich.
"You're back early." Said a groggy voice from behind her. Startled Buffy spun around, nearly dropping her plate in the process. Spike stood leaning on the doorframe, clearly having just woken up.
"You scared me!" She half yelled. "Don't sneak up on a person like that."
"Sorry luv. Just came to see how the planning went. Ready to kick some vampire ass?"
All the seriousness of the earlier conversation appeared to have been lost. She decided to go with it.
"I'm always ready to kick vampire ass." She grinned. "You volenteering?"
"You know I would, but I'm not exactly in tip-top shape at the moment. Some other time perhaps."
Buffy sighed "Oh well. I guess I'll have to settle for talking to you instead."
"I can live with that if you can." He smiled and they walked back into the living room together.
They sat down on the couch and Buffy finished eating her sandwich.
"So, how did things go? Have you come up with a plan?"
Buffy nodded and explained what they were going to do.
"That should work." He remarked. "I guess soldier-boy's training came in usefull after all."
Buffy shifted around uncomfortably at the mention of Riley. She'd hoped to avoid the subject until she came up with the courage to tell him that she didn't want to be with him anymore. What made it the most difficult was the fact that he was trying so hard to be the understanding boyfriend, he was trying so hard to be patient with her but it just wasn't enough. Being with Spike just made her realise that she could never be fully happy with Riley. A tear slipped down her cheek as she remembered Riley's kind words to her back at Giles'. How could she bring herself to hurt him? Spike noticed her tears and turned to face her.
"What's wrong?" Concern in his voice. When Buffy said nothing he wrapped an arm around her back and did his best to comfort her. Finally she looked up at him with tear filled eyes before kissing him
"It's Riley." She explained. "He insisted that we have a talk. I wanted so badly to tell him that I want to be with you but I couldn't do it. He was trying so hard to be understanding. I know I'm making it worse but I don't want to hurt him."
"It's a bit late for that." Said a voice from behind them. Buffy jumped to her feet.
"Riley?"
* * *
Riley stood motionless for a moment, his brain trying to digest exactly what he'd just seen. Part of him tried to rationalise it, he must have been mistaken. But there was no mistake. He'd clearly seen Buffy kissing Spike with his own eyes.
"I should have seen this coming." He said quietly before turning around and walking back out of the door slamming it behind him.
Buffy shot Spike a glance, his face was expressionless. Looking back at the door she ran after Riley.
"Riley, wait." Buffy grabbed his arm and spun him round to face her. She gasped when she saw the pain and the tears in his eyes. This was what she'd done to him.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered.
Riley looked into Buffy's eyes and his face hardened. Roughly he shook her hand off his arm.
"Stay away from me Buffy." He hissed between clenched teeth his face now a mask of pure hatred. Buffy watched as he turned around and continued to watch until he was out of sight. Blinking back the tears she walked back inside.
Spike stood up as Buffy walked through the door. Riley wasn't with her and he had a pretty good idea of what must have been said. As Buffy's eyes met his, her face crumpled and she began to cry. Spike was with her in an instant, pulling her into his arms and softly stroking her hair.
"Ssh love, it's alright." He soothed.
Buffy continued to cry, not because Riley had seen her with Spike. What upset her was the fact that she had hurt him. After her experiences with Angel she knew what it felt like to be hurt by someone you love. She would never want to inflict that pain on anyone, yet that was exactly what she'd done. She didn't know how long she'd been stood there in Spike's arms but it felt good, gave her comfort. Finally she pulled away and gave him a small smile of thanks.
"Maybe it's better this way pet." He suggested softly
Buffy nodded numbly. It had been over with Riley for a long time and a small part of her was glad that he knew. It was finally over. Glancing at the window she observed that dusk was settling over Sunnydale. It was time to go and meet Angel.
"I have to go." She whispered to Spike before walking over to the door and picking up the bag of weapons she'd discarded earlier. Spike followed picking up his duster and putting it on. Buffy stared at him.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm coming with you."
Her eyes widened in shock and then grew stern.
"No you're not. You're not up to your full strength yet."
Spike's eyes then matched her own. He could be just as stubborn as she could, probably more so, he'd had plenty of practise.
"Listen Slayer. Chances are that Riley isn't going to show tonight and there's no way that I'm letting you and Angel face Leon alone. I'm going to help you and don't bother arguing with me."
Spike was out of the door before she could protest any further. Sighing loudly Buffy followed.
As they arrived at Giles' Angel gave them a puzzled look, obviously expecting Riley and not Spike to be a member of the party. Buffy looked at the floor.
"I don't think Riley will be coming." She said quietly. Angel nodded guessing what must have happened and not wanting to push her to explain.
"I'm going to head out now. You two follow me and be ready to back me up when I signal you."
Before they had a chance to respond Riley burst through the door, panting heavily.
"Just…seen…Leon." He gasped.
Angel, Spike and Buffy were immediately alert. Angel growled softly.
"Where?"
"Cemetery….near…mansion."
Angel set his jaw. It was time to settle this once and for all. He headed for the door, closely followed by Buffy and Spike.
"Wait." Called Riley who had managed to catch his breath and compose himself a little. The others turned to face him.
"Can you two go ahead? I need to talk to Buffy."
The two vampires glanced at each other, both aware that Buffy and Riley needed to talk, but also aware that this was perhaps not the most ideal opportunity for them to do so. Buffy voiced their sentiments.
"Riley this really isn't a good time. Can we talk after we've killed the bad guy?"
His eyes filled with the same look of pain that he'd had earlier. Buffy swallowed heavily. He wasn't making it east for her to refuse him.
"Please?" He asked, his plea almost a whisper.
Angel stepped forward and laid a hand reassuringly on her arm.
"It's alright Buffy. Spike and I will go on ahead, you two can catch up with us when you're ready. We should be able to hold him off for a while."
Glancing at Spike she saw a look in his eyes indicating that he agreed with his sire, albeit reluctantly. Looking back at Riley his eyes pleaded with her to stay with him. Finally she sighed and nodded.
"Be careful." She said softly as Spike and Angel walked out of the door.
Standing at the window she watched the two black-clad vampires disappeared into the night, hoping that they'd be alright. She took a deep breath. It was time to clear things up with Riley once and for all. Her eyes not leaving the window she began to speak.
"Riley, don't say anything for a minute. Just let me try and explain what you saw this afternoon. Yes, I kissed Spike and yes I think I may have feelings for him but I want you to understand that the reason I didn't say anything to you was because I'm still trying to figure all this out. What happened with Spike happened so quickly, and then Angel came back and it was just all so confusing. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to take things any further until I'm sure about how I feel. I hope you can understand that this isn't about you, you've been nothing but supportive. I just don't think it's fair to stay with you when my feelings are less than one hundred percent."
When Riley didn't respond to her speech she turned around to face him. She barely had time to catch a glimpse of the chair swinging towards her head before she slumped to the floor.
******
As they walked towards the cemetery Spike glanced across at Angel. The older vampire's face expressed nothing save the grim determination to get this fight over with. Thinking about Buffy Spike wondered if Angel felt anything like he had when Angelus had stolen Dru from him. Part of him hoped so.
They continued to walk in silence and Angel began to feel Spike's eyes upon him. He kept his own eyes fixed ahead.
"If you hurt Buffy I'll torture you in ways that can't be described."
The soft calmness of this statement startled Spike a little, he also knew that Angel meant it.
"I know." He replied quietly
******
Riley gazed down at Buffy's unconscious form for a minute. He'd hit her hard but knew that her slayer strength and healing abilities wouldn't keep her out for long. He had to secure her before she woke up.
Scooping her up in his arms he carried her upstairs and placed her on the bed. Walking over to a trunk in the corner he opened it and pulled out some heavy duty looking rope. He quickly tied Buffy's hands and feet to the ends of the bed before sitting at her side.
"I'm sorry Buffy," he whispered gently stroking the now rather large lump on her forehead. "This was the only way."
His gaze fell upon the ropes binding her hands. He knew that she'd free herself eventually, but by the time she did it would all be over. As Buffy began to stir Riley moved away from the bed and sat on a nearby chair.
She awoke with a throbbing headache which seemed to pulse through her entire brain. She lay still for a moment, hoping it would pass. When it didn't she forced herself to open her eyes, she was lying on a bed. As her head began to clear she remembered being hit and reached for her head to assess the damage. She couldn't move her hands. Looking up she saw that she has been tied to the bed and the ropes were tight. What was going on? Her eyes fell on Riley who was sat in the corner watching her.
"Riley? What's going on?"
Riley smiled tenderly at her. "I'm sorry about your head Buffy but I had to buy us some time."
Buffy frowned "Time? What are you talking about?"
The smile left Riley's face.
"After I left you this afternoon I walked for hours, I had a lot of thinking to do. After a while it came to me. The problem in all this isn't you or me, it's Spike. Both he and Angel are clouding your mind, stopping you from thinking straight. I thought it was weird that a Slayer could love a vampire but loving two is just too much. Something has got to be making you act like this so I've arranged to have the problem removed."
"Removed?"
"I ran into Leon just before I came here. He wanted to take me as bait again but when I explained that your affections now lay elsewhere we managed to make a deal. I convinced him to spare your life on the condition that I keep you away from him until Spike and Angel are dust."
He paused for a moment.
"Well, that's not strictly true. He only wanted Angel but I convinced him to take Spike as well. If everything goes according to plan he'll be killing your two demonic loves as we speak."
Buffy took a moment to register exactly what Riley was saying. Was he insane? She began to pull at the ropes, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes as she knew the ropes wouldn't give way. Spike and Angel were going to die and there was nothing she could do about it. Riley watched her efforts with a look of mild amusement on his face.
"Do you really think Leon will be able to beat Spike and Angel?" She spat. "The two of them have probably already dusted him and are having a drink in the Bronze to celebrate."
"Highly unlikely." Riley responded but there was now an element of doubt in his mind. It was true that Spike and Angel were two of the strongest vampires around and they almost certainly wouldn't go down as easily as anyone else. Maybe it was time to lend a hand.
"You know. I think I might take a walk in the cemetery. I hear there's a good show on tonight. Once it's over we'll be able to move on with our lives."
Leaving Buffy still struggling with her bonds Riley ran downstairs and made his way to the cemetery. As Buffy continued to pull at the ropes she soon realised that she was making them tighter if nothing else. She relaxed and considered what to do. Suddenly she remembered something. When she'd been in the Initiative Graham had taught her a load of knots for securing HST's. He'd also taught her how to escape from them should she ever need to. Bending her wrist and pulling it the way she'd been shown she managed to free one of her hands. She made light work of all the other knots and was free in a matter of seconds. Jumping off the bed she ran downstairs and picked up the bag of weapons she dropped. She paused for a second to grab a crossbow before running down the street as fast as she could. With each step she prayed she wasn't going to be too late.
******
Spike and Angel continued to fight Leon. It had been clear from the start that he'd been expecting them and now they were having difficulties just holding him off. At the moment things were fairly evenly matched which was how it always began. As Riley arrived he decided it was time to uneven the odds. If Leon wanted Angel then that was fine, he had no qualms about taking Spike out of the picture. As the two vampires fought Riley tackled Spike from the side, knocking him to the ground and straddling him before he had the chance to get up. He began to rain punch after punch down upon him, venting all the anger and frustration that had been building up since he'd seen Buffy kissing him. Spike did his best to block the blows but even that seemed to aggravate the chip in his head, causing him more pain. Finally Riley pulled out a stake and raised it above his head.
"If I can't have Buffy I'm going to make damn sure you can't either." He hissed.
Buffy arrived just in time to see Angel doing his best to fend off Leon and Riley about to stake Spike. Seeing him lying on the ground facing death, all doubts she'd had about her feelings for Spike vanished. There was no way she could imagine going on without him.
Spike closed his eyes and braced himself. This was it. However, instead of feeling the stake plunge into his chest he felt Riley's weight lift off his legs. He opened his eyes and saw Buffy fighting Riley and Angel was struggling with Leon.
"I could use some help over here." Yelled Angel. Spike climbed to his feet and ran over to continue the fight, making a note to thank Buffy when all of this was over.
Buffy's fight with Riley was over in a matter of minutes. He was strong, but he was no match for the Slayer. She knocked him to the ground and stood over him.
"What's the matter Riley? Too use to leading people into traps or attacking people who can't defend themselves?"
Riley aid nothing for a moment, then used his legs to sweep hers out from under her. As Buffy crashed to the ground Riley jumped up and ran off. Climbing to her feet she reached for the bag of weapons. It was time to end this.
Picking up the crossbow she walked over to where Leon was still fighting Angel and Spike. He had his back to her and was focusing all his energy of fending off attacks from the other two vampires. Buffy lined up her sights and rested her finger on the trigger, preparing to fire. At that moment he swung round and knocked the weapon out of her hand. Grabbing her by the arm he pulled her around and threw her with all his strength into Angel. They both flew through the air, smashing headfirst into a large memorial stone and landing heavily at the foot of it. Turning back to Spike he threw the younger vampire to one side before walking over to the fallen couple.
"Angel, you have no idea how long I've dreamed about this moment. Before I kill your girl I want you to know that you could have saved her if you'd tried harder."
Still stunned from the blow to their heads Buffy and Angel could only watch as Leon reached down for the Slayer. His fingers just touching the collar of his her shirt, his body suddenly went rigid and a look of pain and shock filled his eyes. Looking down he saw a crossbow bolt sticking out of his chest. Before he could do anything further his body exploded into dust, revealing Spike standing behind him, crossbow in hand.
"Bloody poof." He muttered before throwing the weapon to the ground. Walking over to Buffy and Angel he was too exhausted to lift either of them. Instead he sank to the ground next to Buffy and rested his head on her shoulder. The Slayer and the two vampiric loves of her life sat in an exhausted silence.
******
Dear Buffy
Please don't tear this up until you've finished reading it. I know I'm not in a position to ask for anything but I want to take this last opportunity to ask for your forgiveness. I wish I could explain my actions of last night but I can't. I just couldn't stand the thought of someone else being able to make you happy where I couldn't. I understand that this in no way makes up for what I did but I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry and that I'm glad things worked out in the end. I also wanted to tell you that you won't be seeing me in Sunnydale again. Graham has asked me rejoin the team and I've accepted. The chances are that by the time you read this I'll already have been posted on my first mission. Maybe by fighting the forces of darkness I can begin to make amends.
Please believe me when I say that I hope you'll be happy in the future. You're an amazing person and you deserve it.
Yours always
Riley
Buffy read the letter once again. She'd found it under her door when she'd woken that morning. Unable to stop a tear from falling she brushed it away. She wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but she was beginning to understand.
She thought back to what had happened after the fight with Leon the night before. When they'd finally gotten their strength back the three had walked back to Buffy's house in silence. When they arrived at the front door Angel had stopped.
"I should go back to Giles'."
Buffy remained silent and Angel continued to speak.
"We should say our goodbyes now. I'm heading back to LA as soon as the sun sets tomorrow."
Buffy looked stunned. She'd been expecting him to leave but not quite this soon. Even though she knew she loved Spike now, knowing that she was going to be apart from Angel again was still painful.
"There's one more thing." Angel continued. He took Buffy's hand with one of his and took Spike's with the other. He joined them together. "I hope you'll be happy together."
Squeezing Spike's hand for a second she let go and hugged Angel.
"Thank you." She whispered. "For everything."
Spike extended his hand and Angel looked at it for a moment before shaking it. Spike pulled his sure into a brotherly embrace. With that one gesture they both felt a bond which neither had felt since before Angel had been cursed.
"Take care of her Spike." He said, the threats of earlier having been long forgotten. When he nodded Angel turned and disappeared into the darkness.
Back in the present Buffy looked at Riley's letter once more before folding it up and putting it away. She went back upstairs and into her room where Spike was still sleeping. Closing her eyes she remembered how tender he'd been when they'd made love and how happy she'd been falling asleep in his arms.
Sitting at the side of the bed she smiled as she watched him sleep. He looked so innocent. Finally she bent down, kissed him softly and he began to stir.
"Morning." He murmured
"Riley's gone." She whispered. "And he's not coming back."
Spike opened his eyes and looked up at her.
"Are you okay with that?"
Smiling at him she nodded.
"For the first time in my life I know who I want to be with."
As he kissed her again she knew that she meant it.
Author: Hils
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: B/S, a bit of B/R
Spoilers: General season 5
Summary: Set some time after Fool For Love. Buffy finds help in a surprising place.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of these characters. It all belongs to Joss and co.
Please note I wrote this fic in Dec 2000, back when I was very new to writing. It has not had a beta
Buffy pulled herself out of his embrace and looked at the floor. What had she been thinking? Spike sat back down on the bed, numbly confused. Was it something he'd done?...Of course it was, he'd just bloody kissed her. For a brief moment she'd actually kissed him back and he'd felt happiness that he'd never experienced before, not even with Dru. But she'd pulled away, she hated him. What had he expected? She had her soldier boy to keep her happy.
Buffy sat down heavily on the chair and put her head in her hands, this was not good, everything was so muddled. Riley...Angel...and now Spike too. What am I meant to do?
"I'm sorry" Said Spike softly
Buffy looked up at him, tears in her eyes.
Great you idiot, now you've made her cry. Wanker!
Ignoring the screaming pain in his ribs Spike knelt beside her and wrapped his arms around her now heaving shoulders.
"I'm so sorry love, that was a really stupid thing to do. I don't know what came over me, I'm an idiot."
Buffy buried her head in his shoulder, crying softly and relishing in the comfort that his arms gave her.
"It's not you," she whispered between sobs "things are just so mixed up at the moment. I don't want to talk about it. "
She pulled away and looked at him. The pain in his eyes almost reflected her own. She brushed the tears away, feeling really stupid for crying in front of him. Seeing that she'd stopped crying Spike got up and sat back on the bed.
Buffy looked at the floor, feeling more stupid by the minute. Spike said nothing. Finally, after a few minutes she spoke.
"It's dark, we should really get going in case Leon decides to show up."
"Buffy. I..."
"No Spike, don't" she interrupted "I don't want to talk about it, any of it."
"But..."
"Spike, please."
He wanted to press on but when he saw the pain in her tear filled eyes he closed his mouth. She stood up and offered him her arm, this time he accepted having no desire to come close to fainting again. Arm in arm and in silence the couple left the mansion and made their way through the cemetery towards Buffy's house.
******
As they walked the silence was almost deafening, they were both still trying to digest everything that had just gone on. Spike was desperate for Buffy to tell him what was bothering her, he hated the idea that she was in pain. He decided to try once more and if she still didn't want to talk then he would drop it for good.
" You know it might help to tell me what's going on. I know I'm not the best person to talk to and there are probably a hundred people you'd talk to before me, but I'll listen if you want."
Buffy looked across at him. What was with his sudden desire to be in share-mode? Despite herself she did find herself wanting to talk, she hadn't spoken to anyone since finding out about Angel.
"Angel's coming back to Sunnydale tonight. It's just stirred up a lot of memories."
Spike stared at her for a moment, not really sure what to say. So, his sire was coming back to Sunnyhell, this made things interesting. He wondered what Angel would have to say about everything that was going on, he hadn't seen him since he'd been moping over Dru all those months ago. So much had changed since then. He bet Angel would have a good laugh about the chip and what his childe had been reduced to. Then he remembered Buffy, this was going to be so much harder on her, especially with soldier boy hanging around like a bad smell.
"You still love him don't you?"
Part of him already knew the answer, and it was one he didn't want to hear. He was never going to be what Angel was to her, he was nothing, a soulless demon. He had been insane to think that Buffy would ever see him as anything more.
Spike's question threw Buffy a little. It was true that Angel held a place in her heart that no one else could take, and in that sense she did still love him, but since meeting Riley she'd learnt that she had to move on. She remembered the last conversation she'd had with Angel. We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. They had both moved on but it didn't stop it hurting when she saw him.
"I still care about him" she answered carefully "but we're not part of each other's lives anymore. Seeing him just reminds me of everything we've been through, but I'm not going to sit around and mope. I've moved on, I have Riley now."
Spike scoffed. Angel he could understand, but not Riley.
"What do you see in him love? He doesn't strike me as being the sort of bloke that could keep you happy."
Buffy pulled away from him and stopped, glaring at him.
"What do you know about what makes me happy. Riley is sweet and kind and I happen to be *very* happy with him."
"Really? Then why did you kiss me before? You're the Slayer and no matter how hard you try, a normal guy is never going to be enough for you. The Slayer craves danger like an alcoholic craves booze. You're never going to find that in a guy like him."
Spike stepped a little closer.
"You need a bit of monster in your man and deep down you know it."
"That's not true." Replied Buffy with a little less certainty in her voice. It was like Spike was looking inside her thoughts. "What gives you the right to tell me what I need in my life."
Spike stepped even closer, put his hands gently on her shoulders and looked at her. Buffy looked up at him and gasped slightly when she saw the fire and the emotion in his piercing blue eyes.
"Because I know you." He said softly.
It was true, Buffy could see it in his eyes. He knew her. This wasn't the first time he'd told her something that she couldn't admit to herself. She remembered when he'd told her and Angel that they could never be friends. She didn't know what it was that made him so perceptive but she knew that this was one of those times. She had to accept that Riley wasn't going to be enough for her....and to face the fact that she was becoming increasingly attracted to Spike. Closing her eyes she leaned up and kissed him.
This hadn't quite been the reaction Spike had expected but he certainly wasn't going to complain. He cupped her face in his hand and kissed her back. Suddenly it felt as if everything else in the world had ceased to exist, like nothing else mattered. A small moan escaped Buffy's lips as Spike moved his mouth from her lips to the crook of her neck and began to kiss the soft skin.
At that moment Angel entered the cemetery, figuring Buffy would be out patrolling. He wanted to talk to her alone before they met at Giles'. This wasn't an easy situation for either of them to be in. As he roamed between the gravestones his suddenly stopped in his tracks as he saw Spike with his face buried in a girl's neck, obviously feeding. His childe was clearly more stupid than Angel had first thought. Why on earth would he have come back to Sunnydale after the incident with the Gem of Amarra? He wondered whether Buffy knew that Spike was back. He pulled out a stake and walked slowly towards the blonde vampire. As he got closer his eyes went wide with shock and horror. The girl *was* Buffy...and Spike was killing her! In an instant Angel tackled Spike to the ground, picking him up by the lapels of his shirt and punching him twice before throwing him into the side of a nearby crypt where he fell and lay motionless at the foot of it. Angel raised his stake, ready to end this for good. He was about to plunge it into Spike's heart when someone kicked it out of his hand. He turned and found himself facing Buffy. Forgetting Spike for the moment he pulled her into his arms.
"Buffy are you alright?" He whispered, overcome with relief that Spike hadn't killed her. After a second of not responding Buffy pulled away.
"Angel, what are you doing?" She asked, confusion and a hint of anger in her voice. Was this some sort of jealousy thing?
"I thought Giles told you I was coming." Now it was Angel's turn to be confused, she was acting a little strangely considering he'd just saved her life.
"No I don't mean why are you here, I mean why did you just attack Spike. I can understand if you're jealous that I have feelings for another vampire but I really don't think that killing him is going to make things any better."
Angel stared at her. Was she insane, delirious from losing blood?
"Buffy, what are you talking about? I saw him feeding on you so I stopped him."
"You saw him doing *what*? Spike wasn't feeding on me. Why would you think....oh."
Buffy suddenly realised how it must have looked to Angel and had to stop herself from smiling a little. She turned her neck to him so that he could see there was no wound.
"If he wasn't feeding on you then what was he...ARE YOU CRAZY??" Angel suddenly realised that he had actually walked into something which was to total opposite of the attack he thought he'd seen. "You..and Spike?"
Buffy flinched a little when he shouted, this wasn't going well. Suddenly her eyes fell back on Spike who was still lying on the ground. She ran over and knelt down next to him, he was out cold. Tears filled her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair and down his cheek. This was the second time in twenty four hours that he'd taken a beating because of her. She looked back up at Angel.
"I don't suppose you've got your car nearby?"
Angel nodded "It's out by the gate."
"We were headed to my house. Can you help me carry him?"
Angel picked up Spike's legs while Buffy lifted his arms. It didn't take them much effort to carry him to Angel's car and lie him across the back seats. They got into the front and Angel drove them the short distance to Buffy's house
*****
When they arrived Buffy and Angel carried Spike upstairs and put him to bed in the spare room. As Buffy placed a blanket over him Spike let out a small groan. She looked back at Angel who was stood in the doorway watching her.
"Angel, can you give me a minute."
"I'll wait downstairs."
She turned back to Spike who had now opened his eyes and was looking at her.
"Are you alright?" She asked with concern. "Spike, I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen to you."
He kissed her hand "It's not your fault love. Is...uh...he still here."
Buffy nodded.
"You should go and talk to him."
Buffy nodded again before leaning down and kissing him softly.
"I'll come back up and check on you later. I've got some blood in the fridge, I'll bring you some before I go to bed."
Spike nodded and closed his eyes. He found that he healed faster when he was asleep and it seemed like a good way of ignoring all the pain he was in. Buffy switched the light off and went downstairs.
Angel was pacing backwards and forwards, trying to get his head around everything he had seen. He stopped when he saw Buffy. She gestured for him to sit down and when he did so she sat on the chair across from him.
"Angel. A lot has happened since you were last here. I guess I should start from the beginning."
With that she told the whole story. The Initiative, Riley, Spike's chip, how he'd helped her when she wanted to know about the Slayer's he'd killed, the fight with Leon, Spike saving her and she finished with the kiss and Angel's arrival.
Angel sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Buffy, you have to understand that this is a lot for me to take in. I can deal with all the stuff about Riley, but this thing with Spike. I can't pretend to understand or to like it. Just promise me that you'll think carefully about it before you take it any further. I know he can't hurt anyone at the moment but if he ever gets that chip out of his head...at the end of the day he's still a demon. As much as I don't like Riley, he can give you some sort of normal life. I don't want you to throw all that away."
A look of disappointment and anger crossed Buffy's face. She had hoped that Angel of all people would understand how she could have feelings for a vampire. Spike's words still rung in her ears.
"Maybe I don't want a normal life. I'm the Slayer, it doesn't exactly scream normality. I don't think I have to remind you that I was happy with you until you up and left. Why shouldn't I have feelings for another vampire. Here was I thinking you'd understand."
Angel looked hurt, Buffy's words had cut deep. He couldn't deny that it was him who had ended their relationship even though it had hurt them both. He also knew that he couldn't hold Spike's past against him as he himself had done things far worse. He sighed.
"All I'm saying is be careful. Look it's late, you should get some sleep. Come over to Giles' in the morning and we'll talk about what to do with Leon."
Buffy nodded. "Angel, I'm sorry to just drop this on you. Believe me I never planned for this to happen. Would you mind not saying anything to the others yet. I need some time to think."
Angel walked over the door and turned back to look at her.
"Sure. Goodnight Buffy."
"Goodnight."
After Angel had left Buffy sat in silence for a minute. Why was all this happening at once? Yesterday her life had been as normal as it was ever going to be and now in true Sunnydale style it was a mess again. Despite her brain telling her that this thing with Spike was insanity she couldn't forget the feel of his lips upon hers, or the depth of his eyes that seemed to look right into her soul. She shook her head. Angel was right, it was late and maybe she'd be thinking a bit more clearly after she'd had some sleep. She drew all the blinds and heated up some blood for Spike before going upstairs.
She knocked on the door and when there was no answer she walked in. Spike was still sleeping. Part of her didn't want to wake him but she knew that he needed to feed and that the blood would help him heal. She sat on the bed beside him and gently shook his shoulder.
"Spike, I've got some blood for you." She said softly
He opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"Thanks pet" he said groggily before draining the mug of its contents. "How did it go with Angel?"
Buffy sighed "Not so good. I think he just needs a bit of time to take in everything I told him."
Spike nodded and then reached up and put one of hands on her cheek.
"You look tired love. Maybe you should get some sleep."
"I'm just going to bed now. I've closed all the blinds in case you decide to get up in the morning. I know that's normally your sleepy time. I'm going to over to Giles' to talk Leon so you'll have the place to yourself. There's blood in the fridge and just help yourself to the TV and stuff."
Giving him a quick kiss Buffy stood up.
"Goodnight Spike."
"Goodnight pet."
Closing the door behind her Buffy went to her own room, changed into her pyjamas and got into bed. Fairly certain of not having a good night's sleep with all the thoughts of the day still churning in her head she settled down and closed her eyes. She was asleep in no time.
* * *
Buffy awoke to the smell of bacon frying. She lay in bed for a moment, her eyes closed, savouring the smell. It was comforting, reminding her of home. Her mom always cooked bacon for her. Buffy's eyes snapped open. Mom! She was home early, and Buffy had a vampire sleeping in the house. How was she going to explain it? Buffy leapt out of bed, ran down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen. She stopped and clamped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud. Spike was humming to himself and flipping the bacon to cook it evenly. Almost as if he sensed Buffy he turned round to see her with a huge grin on her face.
"What?" He asked sounding a little irritated. This wasn't the reaction he'd expected at his attempt to cook her breakfast.
Buffy tried to wipe the smile from her face.
"Nothing!" She exclaimed. "I've just never seen your domesticated side before. In fact, I didn't even know you *could* cook."
Spike turned his attention back to the cooking food.
"Well, there happens to be a cookery programme on just before Passions. I picked up a few things."
Buffy smiled at the new side of Spike she was seeing. It would almost be cute, if he wasn't a vampire.
"You eat bacon? Never struck me as being vamp food."
Spike scowled.
"It's for you. Just something to say...you know...thanks for helping me out and letting me stay here."
Buffy's smile changed from amusement to warmth.
"You don't need to thank me. You saved me and Riley, I think you more than deserve a couple of night's protection."
Spike frowned at the mention of Riley's name, knowing that once he came round she'd no doubt forget the kiss from last night. Still, while he was here at least he could savour the time he had with her. He turned his attention back to the food he was cooking and saw that it was done. Putting it onto a plate he handed it to her. Buffy took a bite and smiled. It was good. Seeing Buffy smile at something he'd done for her gave Spike a warm fuzzy feeling inside. He'd never felt like this before, not even with Dru. Buffy walked into the living room and he followed.
As Buffy sat on the couch Spike wondered where he should sit. He desperately wanted to sit next to her, to be as close as he could. On the other hand she'd made no mention of last night's events so far, chances were that she regretted the whole thing and would push him away if he tried anything now. Of all the tortures in the world, her pushing him away would probably kill him.
Deciding to go halfway he sat on the other end of the couch, making sure there was a reasonable amount of space between them. As he eased himself down he winced as the now all too familiar pain cut through his ribs. This did not go unnoticed by Buffy.
"How are you feeling this morning?" She noticed that the cuts on his face had healed overnight but he was clearly still in pain.
"Still a bit tender," he admitted. "But I'll live."
He smiled at his own words, realising exactly what he'd just said.
"Well, not live exactly. You know what I mean."
Buffy smiled. The fact that he still had his sense of humour was a good indication that he was well on the road to recovery. Her smile faded and a silence fell on the room as they both considered what to say next.
"So," began Buffy after a couple of minutes. "I guess we need to talk."
"I guess so."
"About last night…"
"No, wait." Spike cut in. "There's something I need to say."
Buffy nodded and Spike took an unneeded deep breath, not quite believing what he was about to say.
"I think we should take things slowly."
Buffy's face was expressionless so he continued.
"Last night I told you a few home truths which were clearly a lot closer to home than I'd thought. I don't want you to think I'm saying this because I don't want to be with you, I do….more than anything. The point is I don't want to be the rebound bloke. Things don't work out with soldier boy so you just jump on the next guy who comes along. Plus there's the whole issue of Angel being here. Things must seem pretty mixed up at the moment and I have no desire to have my dead heart broken when you decide to come to your senses. What I'm trying to say is that I want you to wait until you're sure about how you feel before we take this any further."
Buffy stared at him, it was like looking at a stranger. There wasn't even a hint of the cocky, arrogant guy that she was so used to being around. Hearing him talk just made her realise how unbelievably wonderful he was. She smiled and slid across the couch so that she was sat next to him.
"You are so sweet." She whispered before kissing him on the cheek.
"Don't tell anyone," he grinned. "I've got a reputation to protect."
Buffy smiled and glanced down at her watch.
"I'm late!" She yelled, jumping to her feet. "I was meant to meet Angel at Giles' ten minutes ago."
She ran upstairs, threw on some clothes, stuffed a bag with some weapons and then ran back downstairs.
"Listen Spike, take it easy today and come over to Giles' tonight. You fought this guy as well and might be able to help with a strategy."
She leant down and planted a quick kiss on his lips before running out of the front door
Spike sighed and leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. His lips still burned from her kiss and for the first time in months he felt happy.
******
Buffy didn't bother with the formality of knocking, instead she just walked into Giles' lounge, panting from the running she'd done between her house and his.
"Sorry I'm late." She gasped. "I slept in."
Giles, Angel and Riley looked up from where they were sitting. Buffy wasn't sure if she was imagining it but there appeared to be the smallest hint of hurt in Angel's eyes. Had he guessed that the reason she was so late was because she was talking to Spike about the possibility of a future relationship?
Buffy sat down.
"Angel what can you tell us?"
"Jealousy." Said Angel, as if that one word explained it all. The others looked puzzled.
"It's his strength." He explained. "But it's also his weakness. Jealousy gives him power, strength but it also clouds his mind, it drives him so crazy that he can't think straight. If we play on this he'll get sloppy and as soon as he makes a mistake, which he will, we strike."
"You have a plan?" Asked Giles who was a little wary of jumping into battle without being fully prepared. It wasn't that he doubted Buffy's ability, but there was no point in taking unnecessary risks.
"It seems to me," said Riley. "That the best way of getting the guy to slip up is by sending Angel here to pay him a visit. You said yourself that the reason he's so crazy is because of what went on with you and Darla. I think seeing you would be more than enough to get him wound up."
Buffy, Giles and Angel stared at him. Finally Buffy spoke.
"You can't be suggesting that we let Angel fight him single-handed."
Riley sighed, he had to say that the thought had crossed his mind, the less danger Buffy was in the better. He knew that she'd never go along with it so he shook his head
"Of course not. What I'm suggesting is that Angel go and ruffle Leon's feathers a bit and we'll be on standby ready to attack when we're needed."
Buffy glanced at Angel and Giles. Riley's plan did make sense, although she wasn't happy with the idea of Angel facing him alone. Their faces expressed the same feelings that she was having.
"Alright, that settles it then." Said Angel "As soon as the sun goes down I'll head out and you guys can follow me. Just stay out of sight until I signal you."
Riley and Buffy nodded. Angel stood up.
"I should get some sleep. Meet me back here just before sundown"
Giles took Angel upstairs to show him to the spare room, leaving Buffy and Riley alone together.
"Buffy, we really need to talk."
She nodded, knowing that she couldn't put it off any longer.
He turned to face her.
"Buffy, I know things are difficult for you at the moment with Angel coming back and everything, but I'm feeling like you're shutting me out of your life. I want to help you but I can't unless you tell me what you're feeling."
Buffy looked at the floor. If she told him what she was feeling at the moment she doubted that he'd like it very much.
"Riley, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm shutting you out but I need time to sort my head out. You're right, things are difficult at the moment. I've got a lot to think about and I just need some space. Please try to understand."
He despertaley wanted to understand, but he couldn't see why she was acting like this. He'd always felt that it helped to talk about problems and not keep them bottled up like she was doing.
"I don't understand...but if you need your space, I can do that. I just want you to know that when you're ready to talk, I'm here for you."
She smiled sadly.
"I know."
Standing up she leant down and kissed Riley on the cheek.
"I'm going to take a leaf out of Angel's book and go to sleep for a couple of hours. I didn't sleep very well last night and I want to be fully charged for tonight. I'll see you later."
Riley watched as Buffy walked out of the door. He hoped she'd open up to him sooner rather than later.
******
Buffy opened the door, dropped her bag on the floor and sighed loudly. She'd had the perfect chance to tell Riley exactly what was going on but she'd lost her nerve. As she walked into the living room she saw that the tv was on and Spike was fast asleep on the couch where she'd left him. Smiling she turned the tv off and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich.
"You're back early." Said a groggy voice from behind her. Startled Buffy spun around, nearly dropping her plate in the process. Spike stood leaning on the doorframe, clearly having just woken up.
"You scared me!" She half yelled. "Don't sneak up on a person like that."
"Sorry luv. Just came to see how the planning went. Ready to kick some vampire ass?"
All the seriousness of the earlier conversation appeared to have been lost. She decided to go with it.
"I'm always ready to kick vampire ass." She grinned. "You volenteering?"
"You know I would, but I'm not exactly in tip-top shape at the moment. Some other time perhaps."
Buffy sighed "Oh well. I guess I'll have to settle for talking to you instead."
"I can live with that if you can." He smiled and they walked back into the living room together.
They sat down on the couch and Buffy finished eating her sandwich.
"So, how did things go? Have you come up with a plan?"
Buffy nodded and explained what they were going to do.
"That should work." He remarked. "I guess soldier-boy's training came in usefull after all."
Buffy shifted around uncomfortably at the mention of Riley. She'd hoped to avoid the subject until she came up with the courage to tell him that she didn't want to be with him anymore. What made it the most difficult was the fact that he was trying so hard to be the understanding boyfriend, he was trying so hard to be patient with her but it just wasn't enough. Being with Spike just made her realise that she could never be fully happy with Riley. A tear slipped down her cheek as she remembered Riley's kind words to her back at Giles'. How could she bring herself to hurt him? Spike noticed her tears and turned to face her.
"What's wrong?" Concern in his voice. When Buffy said nothing he wrapped an arm around her back and did his best to comfort her. Finally she looked up at him with tear filled eyes before kissing him
"It's Riley." She explained. "He insisted that we have a talk. I wanted so badly to tell him that I want to be with you but I couldn't do it. He was trying so hard to be understanding. I know I'm making it worse but I don't want to hurt him."
"It's a bit late for that." Said a voice from behind them. Buffy jumped to her feet.
"Riley?"
* * *
Riley stood motionless for a moment, his brain trying to digest exactly what he'd just seen. Part of him tried to rationalise it, he must have been mistaken. But there was no mistake. He'd clearly seen Buffy kissing Spike with his own eyes.
"I should have seen this coming." He said quietly before turning around and walking back out of the door slamming it behind him.
Buffy shot Spike a glance, his face was expressionless. Looking back at the door she ran after Riley.
"Riley, wait." Buffy grabbed his arm and spun him round to face her. She gasped when she saw the pain and the tears in his eyes. This was what she'd done to him.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered.
Riley looked into Buffy's eyes and his face hardened. Roughly he shook her hand off his arm.
"Stay away from me Buffy." He hissed between clenched teeth his face now a mask of pure hatred. Buffy watched as he turned around and continued to watch until he was out of sight. Blinking back the tears she walked back inside.
Spike stood up as Buffy walked through the door. Riley wasn't with her and he had a pretty good idea of what must have been said. As Buffy's eyes met his, her face crumpled and she began to cry. Spike was with her in an instant, pulling her into his arms and softly stroking her hair.
"Ssh love, it's alright." He soothed.
Buffy continued to cry, not because Riley had seen her with Spike. What upset her was the fact that she had hurt him. After her experiences with Angel she knew what it felt like to be hurt by someone you love. She would never want to inflict that pain on anyone, yet that was exactly what she'd done. She didn't know how long she'd been stood there in Spike's arms but it felt good, gave her comfort. Finally she pulled away and gave him a small smile of thanks.
"Maybe it's better this way pet." He suggested softly
Buffy nodded numbly. It had been over with Riley for a long time and a small part of her was glad that he knew. It was finally over. Glancing at the window she observed that dusk was settling over Sunnydale. It was time to go and meet Angel.
"I have to go." She whispered to Spike before walking over to the door and picking up the bag of weapons she'd discarded earlier. Spike followed picking up his duster and putting it on. Buffy stared at him.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm coming with you."
Her eyes widened in shock and then grew stern.
"No you're not. You're not up to your full strength yet."
Spike's eyes then matched her own. He could be just as stubborn as she could, probably more so, he'd had plenty of practise.
"Listen Slayer. Chances are that Riley isn't going to show tonight and there's no way that I'm letting you and Angel face Leon alone. I'm going to help you and don't bother arguing with me."
Spike was out of the door before she could protest any further. Sighing loudly Buffy followed.
As they arrived at Giles' Angel gave them a puzzled look, obviously expecting Riley and not Spike to be a member of the party. Buffy looked at the floor.
"I don't think Riley will be coming." She said quietly. Angel nodded guessing what must have happened and not wanting to push her to explain.
"I'm going to head out now. You two follow me and be ready to back me up when I signal you."
Before they had a chance to respond Riley burst through the door, panting heavily.
"Just…seen…Leon." He gasped.
Angel, Spike and Buffy were immediately alert. Angel growled softly.
"Where?"
"Cemetery….near…mansion."
Angel set his jaw. It was time to settle this once and for all. He headed for the door, closely followed by Buffy and Spike.
"Wait." Called Riley who had managed to catch his breath and compose himself a little. The others turned to face him.
"Can you two go ahead? I need to talk to Buffy."
The two vampires glanced at each other, both aware that Buffy and Riley needed to talk, but also aware that this was perhaps not the most ideal opportunity for them to do so. Buffy voiced their sentiments.
"Riley this really isn't a good time. Can we talk after we've killed the bad guy?"
His eyes filled with the same look of pain that he'd had earlier. Buffy swallowed heavily. He wasn't making it east for her to refuse him.
"Please?" He asked, his plea almost a whisper.
Angel stepped forward and laid a hand reassuringly on her arm.
"It's alright Buffy. Spike and I will go on ahead, you two can catch up with us when you're ready. We should be able to hold him off for a while."
Glancing at Spike she saw a look in his eyes indicating that he agreed with his sire, albeit reluctantly. Looking back at Riley his eyes pleaded with her to stay with him. Finally she sighed and nodded.
"Be careful." She said softly as Spike and Angel walked out of the door.
Standing at the window she watched the two black-clad vampires disappeared into the night, hoping that they'd be alright. She took a deep breath. It was time to clear things up with Riley once and for all. Her eyes not leaving the window she began to speak.
"Riley, don't say anything for a minute. Just let me try and explain what you saw this afternoon. Yes, I kissed Spike and yes I think I may have feelings for him but I want you to understand that the reason I didn't say anything to you was because I'm still trying to figure all this out. What happened with Spike happened so quickly, and then Angel came back and it was just all so confusing. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to take things any further until I'm sure about how I feel. I hope you can understand that this isn't about you, you've been nothing but supportive. I just don't think it's fair to stay with you when my feelings are less than one hundred percent."
When Riley didn't respond to her speech she turned around to face him. She barely had time to catch a glimpse of the chair swinging towards her head before she slumped to the floor.
******
As they walked towards the cemetery Spike glanced across at Angel. The older vampire's face expressed nothing save the grim determination to get this fight over with. Thinking about Buffy Spike wondered if Angel felt anything like he had when Angelus had stolen Dru from him. Part of him hoped so.
They continued to walk in silence and Angel began to feel Spike's eyes upon him. He kept his own eyes fixed ahead.
"If you hurt Buffy I'll torture you in ways that can't be described."
The soft calmness of this statement startled Spike a little, he also knew that Angel meant it.
"I know." He replied quietly
******
Riley gazed down at Buffy's unconscious form for a minute. He'd hit her hard but knew that her slayer strength and healing abilities wouldn't keep her out for long. He had to secure her before she woke up.
Scooping her up in his arms he carried her upstairs and placed her on the bed. Walking over to a trunk in the corner he opened it and pulled out some heavy duty looking rope. He quickly tied Buffy's hands and feet to the ends of the bed before sitting at her side.
"I'm sorry Buffy," he whispered gently stroking the now rather large lump on her forehead. "This was the only way."
His gaze fell upon the ropes binding her hands. He knew that she'd free herself eventually, but by the time she did it would all be over. As Buffy began to stir Riley moved away from the bed and sat on a nearby chair.
She awoke with a throbbing headache which seemed to pulse through her entire brain. She lay still for a moment, hoping it would pass. When it didn't she forced herself to open her eyes, she was lying on a bed. As her head began to clear she remembered being hit and reached for her head to assess the damage. She couldn't move her hands. Looking up she saw that she has been tied to the bed and the ropes were tight. What was going on? Her eyes fell on Riley who was sat in the corner watching her.
"Riley? What's going on?"
Riley smiled tenderly at her. "I'm sorry about your head Buffy but I had to buy us some time."
Buffy frowned "Time? What are you talking about?"
The smile left Riley's face.
"After I left you this afternoon I walked for hours, I had a lot of thinking to do. After a while it came to me. The problem in all this isn't you or me, it's Spike. Both he and Angel are clouding your mind, stopping you from thinking straight. I thought it was weird that a Slayer could love a vampire but loving two is just too much. Something has got to be making you act like this so I've arranged to have the problem removed."
"Removed?"
"I ran into Leon just before I came here. He wanted to take me as bait again but when I explained that your affections now lay elsewhere we managed to make a deal. I convinced him to spare your life on the condition that I keep you away from him until Spike and Angel are dust."
He paused for a moment.
"Well, that's not strictly true. He only wanted Angel but I convinced him to take Spike as well. If everything goes according to plan he'll be killing your two demonic loves as we speak."
Buffy took a moment to register exactly what Riley was saying. Was he insane? She began to pull at the ropes, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes as she knew the ropes wouldn't give way. Spike and Angel were going to die and there was nothing she could do about it. Riley watched her efforts with a look of mild amusement on his face.
"Do you really think Leon will be able to beat Spike and Angel?" She spat. "The two of them have probably already dusted him and are having a drink in the Bronze to celebrate."
"Highly unlikely." Riley responded but there was now an element of doubt in his mind. It was true that Spike and Angel were two of the strongest vampires around and they almost certainly wouldn't go down as easily as anyone else. Maybe it was time to lend a hand.
"You know. I think I might take a walk in the cemetery. I hear there's a good show on tonight. Once it's over we'll be able to move on with our lives."
Leaving Buffy still struggling with her bonds Riley ran downstairs and made his way to the cemetery. As Buffy continued to pull at the ropes she soon realised that she was making them tighter if nothing else. She relaxed and considered what to do. Suddenly she remembered something. When she'd been in the Initiative Graham had taught her a load of knots for securing HST's. He'd also taught her how to escape from them should she ever need to. Bending her wrist and pulling it the way she'd been shown she managed to free one of her hands. She made light work of all the other knots and was free in a matter of seconds. Jumping off the bed she ran downstairs and picked up the bag of weapons she dropped. She paused for a second to grab a crossbow before running down the street as fast as she could. With each step she prayed she wasn't going to be too late.
******
Spike and Angel continued to fight Leon. It had been clear from the start that he'd been expecting them and now they were having difficulties just holding him off. At the moment things were fairly evenly matched which was how it always began. As Riley arrived he decided it was time to uneven the odds. If Leon wanted Angel then that was fine, he had no qualms about taking Spike out of the picture. As the two vampires fought Riley tackled Spike from the side, knocking him to the ground and straddling him before he had the chance to get up. He began to rain punch after punch down upon him, venting all the anger and frustration that had been building up since he'd seen Buffy kissing him. Spike did his best to block the blows but even that seemed to aggravate the chip in his head, causing him more pain. Finally Riley pulled out a stake and raised it above his head.
"If I can't have Buffy I'm going to make damn sure you can't either." He hissed.
Buffy arrived just in time to see Angel doing his best to fend off Leon and Riley about to stake Spike. Seeing him lying on the ground facing death, all doubts she'd had about her feelings for Spike vanished. There was no way she could imagine going on without him.
Spike closed his eyes and braced himself. This was it. However, instead of feeling the stake plunge into his chest he felt Riley's weight lift off his legs. He opened his eyes and saw Buffy fighting Riley and Angel was struggling with Leon.
"I could use some help over here." Yelled Angel. Spike climbed to his feet and ran over to continue the fight, making a note to thank Buffy when all of this was over.
Buffy's fight with Riley was over in a matter of minutes. He was strong, but he was no match for the Slayer. She knocked him to the ground and stood over him.
"What's the matter Riley? Too use to leading people into traps or attacking people who can't defend themselves?"
Riley aid nothing for a moment, then used his legs to sweep hers out from under her. As Buffy crashed to the ground Riley jumped up and ran off. Climbing to her feet she reached for the bag of weapons. It was time to end this.
Picking up the crossbow she walked over to where Leon was still fighting Angel and Spike. He had his back to her and was focusing all his energy of fending off attacks from the other two vampires. Buffy lined up her sights and rested her finger on the trigger, preparing to fire. At that moment he swung round and knocked the weapon out of her hand. Grabbing her by the arm he pulled her around and threw her with all his strength into Angel. They both flew through the air, smashing headfirst into a large memorial stone and landing heavily at the foot of it. Turning back to Spike he threw the younger vampire to one side before walking over to the fallen couple.
"Angel, you have no idea how long I've dreamed about this moment. Before I kill your girl I want you to know that you could have saved her if you'd tried harder."
Still stunned from the blow to their heads Buffy and Angel could only watch as Leon reached down for the Slayer. His fingers just touching the collar of his her shirt, his body suddenly went rigid and a look of pain and shock filled his eyes. Looking down he saw a crossbow bolt sticking out of his chest. Before he could do anything further his body exploded into dust, revealing Spike standing behind him, crossbow in hand.
"Bloody poof." He muttered before throwing the weapon to the ground. Walking over to Buffy and Angel he was too exhausted to lift either of them. Instead he sank to the ground next to Buffy and rested his head on her shoulder. The Slayer and the two vampiric loves of her life sat in an exhausted silence.
******
Dear Buffy
Please don't tear this up until you've finished reading it. I know I'm not in a position to ask for anything but I want to take this last opportunity to ask for your forgiveness. I wish I could explain my actions of last night but I can't. I just couldn't stand the thought of someone else being able to make you happy where I couldn't. I understand that this in no way makes up for what I did but I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry and that I'm glad things worked out in the end. I also wanted to tell you that you won't be seeing me in Sunnydale again. Graham has asked me rejoin the team and I've accepted. The chances are that by the time you read this I'll already have been posted on my first mission. Maybe by fighting the forces of darkness I can begin to make amends.
Please believe me when I say that I hope you'll be happy in the future. You're an amazing person and you deserve it.
Yours always
Riley
Buffy read the letter once again. She'd found it under her door when she'd woken that morning. Unable to stop a tear from falling she brushed it away. She wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but she was beginning to understand.
She thought back to what had happened after the fight with Leon the night before. When they'd finally gotten their strength back the three had walked back to Buffy's house in silence. When they arrived at the front door Angel had stopped.
"I should go back to Giles'."
Buffy remained silent and Angel continued to speak.
"We should say our goodbyes now. I'm heading back to LA as soon as the sun sets tomorrow."
Buffy looked stunned. She'd been expecting him to leave but not quite this soon. Even though she knew she loved Spike now, knowing that she was going to be apart from Angel again was still painful.
"There's one more thing." Angel continued. He took Buffy's hand with one of his and took Spike's with the other. He joined them together. "I hope you'll be happy together."
Squeezing Spike's hand for a second she let go and hugged Angel.
"Thank you." She whispered. "For everything."
Spike extended his hand and Angel looked at it for a moment before shaking it. Spike pulled his sure into a brotherly embrace. With that one gesture they both felt a bond which neither had felt since before Angel had been cursed.
"Take care of her Spike." He said, the threats of earlier having been long forgotten. When he nodded Angel turned and disappeared into the darkness.
Back in the present Buffy looked at Riley's letter once more before folding it up and putting it away. She went back upstairs and into her room where Spike was still sleeping. Closing her eyes she remembered how tender he'd been when they'd made love and how happy she'd been falling asleep in his arms.
Sitting at the side of the bed she smiled as she watched him sleep. He looked so innocent. Finally she bent down, kissed him softly and he began to stir.
"Morning." He murmured
"Riley's gone." She whispered. "And he's not coming back."
Spike opened his eyes and looked up at her.
"Are you okay with that?"
Smiling at him she nodded.
"For the first time in my life I know who I want to be with."
As he kissed her again she knew that she meant it.
