fandomcorner | Fic: The Long Road Home

Title: The Long Road Home
Author:

hils and

lexalicious70
Rating: G
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clex
Summary: Clark and Lana get a visitor
Inspired by

bagheera_san's idea to write a missing scene ficlet for each new episode. This is my offering for Veritas.

lexalicious70 watched the episode with me and came up with the basic idea for this so we wound up writing it together.
Thanks to

danceswithgary for the beta

Hidden in the shadows of the dimly lit hallway, Lex Luthor watched Chloe pass by less than ten feet from where he stood waiting. Her face was streaked with tears and her occasional hitches and gasps were muffled by one hand, as she headed for the waiting room at the opposite end of the hall. Lex waited until she vanished into the other room, and then emerged from concealment. He paused at the window to Lana's room, and his heart skipped a beat as he spotted a broad-shouldered figure silhouetted against the big bay window.

He could also see Lana's profile, as well as her long, dark hair. She appeared still and silent, resembling a wax dummy, but there was no lack of emotion in the big man who crouched next to her, his dark head buried in his muscular arms as he wept quietly.

"Damn," Lex whispered. He turned and took a few halting steps away from the room, ran a hand over his bare scalp, and then turned back. Finally, with a sigh, he opened the door and entered the room.

Clark was trapped in a void, an empty black nothingness with only his guilt to keep him company. He hadn’t felt anything this deep, raw, and painful since his father had died. How many more people was he going to lose because of his powers? How many more times would he end up sitting next to another casualty of his failures?

Lex approached the motionless pair, his every movement undetectable. He had learned long ago how to conceal his presence until he wanted to reveal himself to others. He paused to watch Clark's slumped shoulders as they shook with grief. Something old and familiar stirred in his chest at the sight, as if he'd just pulled a favorite childhood curio from an attic chest. He reached out, hesitated, and then pulled his hand back. "Clark," he called softly. "Clark."

It took a moment for the soft voice to penetrate but when it did, Clark raised his tear-filled eyes to face the last person he'd ever expected, or wanted to see. "Get out," he hissed. "You're not welcome here."

"I can understand how you might feel that either I or my father is responsible for Lana's condition, Clark." Lex slid his hands into the pockets of his slacks, ignoring the order to leave. "But I'm not here to debate which one of us you hate more." He rounded the chair to face Lana.

Clark was on his feet now, catching hold of Lex's wrist before he had the chance to brush the hair from Lana's eyes. "Don't you dare touch her," he growled.

Lex didn't flinch at the big hand that closed around his slim wrist, although he detected a hint of the strength that could crush every bone in it. "I'm not here to harm her. Nor am I here to gloat . . . despite our past history."

"I don't care why you're here," Clark snapped, "I just want to be left alone. We just want to be left alone."

Lex inspected the woman he had once cared for, and found nothing left in his heart for her beyond mild pity. "My sources tell me that Brainiac is responsible for her condition."

Clark sighed and released Lex's wrist. "Of course. I should have known you were here for answers, not because you cared. You were married to her, Lex. Does it even bother you that she's in constant agony?"

"Should it?" Lex asked mildly. "After all, when I was in a coma after being shot in the head, she had no trouble taking advantage of my condition to find the answers she sought. I doubt she stopped to consider if I felt anything."

Clark lowered his eyes, his voice muted to a soft whisper "Lana had nothing to do with that, Lex."

"She had everything to do with it…as she always has, when it comes to the affairs and motivations of Clark Kent. But I'm not here to argue that either, Clark." He looked Lana over again. "Or perhaps you've forgotten that at one time, I was Brainiac's pawn as well."

"No," Clark replied. "I haven’t forgotten." How could he? The feeling of despair he'd felt when Zod had told him Lex was dead still lingered, even now after so much had changed between them

"Is this like the other time? Is Lana a vessel?"

Clark shook his head, unable to find the words to describe what Braniac had done to Lana. His fault. It was all his fault.

"What has he done to her?"

"Something the doctors can't fix. No one can fix it except him, and he's gone."

Lex hesitated. "Are you sure of it? Perhaps-- I know some of the finest neurosurgeons in the country. If needed, we can bring them in." Lex wasn't sure why he was making the offer, but that something that had awakened in his chest was growing stronger and, more than anything, it wanted to erase the hurt and grief from Clark's eyes.

For a moment, it had been easy to talk to Lex, as it had been in the old days. Now, at Lex's offer, a cold feeling of distrust returned, and Clark's eyes hardened. "The same neurosurgeons you were going to have work on Kara? No thanks, Lex. The Luthors have inflicted more than enough damage on me and my friends. Whatever Brainiac did to Lana, I'll fix it. Alone."

Lex flinched as if Clark had struck him. "My apologies." He turned away smoothly. "I wish you luck . . . and I'll just remind you of one thing before I go." He looked over his shoulder and met Clark's eyes firmly. "The last time you pushed me away and thought you could fix things on your own, Brainiac used me to destroy half of Metropolis. I still wake up from nightmares where I hear the screams of people who died that night." The left corner of Lex's mouth twitched briefly. "We were both alone then. It doesn't have to be that way this time.”

He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he listened to Lex speak. Lex had been hurt more times than anyone else. It was easy to blame Lex, but the truth Clark always tried to deny was that it was Clark's fault. He'd let Lex get close to him, and Lex had paid the price for that. "I'm sorry, Lex," he finally whispered with a trembling voice. "For everything."

Lex's heart paused, stricken by something he hadn't felt in so long that at first, he didn't recognize it. When the meaning came to him, Lex almost held his breath, but then he managed a feeble response. “Sorry?"

Clark nodded. "I'm sorry you got hurt, I'm sorry you still have nightmares, and I'm sorry it all happened because of me. All I do is cause people pain and suffering." He glanced back at Lana and had to force himself to look away.

"Clark." Lex took a step closer. "You must understand that you're not completely to blame for Dark Thursday. You were young, you'd lost your father, and your guidance. Inexperience drove you to make the wrong decisions. Moreover, Brainiac chose me. I know you had nothing to do with that." He rubbed the back of his neck in a futile attempt to relieve the strain before he continued with a frown. "I've done things I regret too, Clark. I've pushed you away with my paranoia and mistrust and, for that, I'm truly sorry."

Clark shook his head and sighed. "It's...I severed our friendship because you put Lana and my family in danger. Now my dad is dead, and Lana is...and both of those things are my fault. Nothing's the way I thought it was, Lex.”

"Life rarely works out the way we expect, Clark. The best we can do is keep going, despite that." He took a few more steps, closing the distance between them, that tiny pinpoint of hope that had bloomed in his chest growing larger. "I know that so much has happened between us, and we've said some horrible things to each other. But Clark . . . I still care about you."

Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd longed to hear those words, he had imagined them in his head dozens of times but, now that they were here, he had to wonder if it was all too late. "I care about you too," he finally admitted, I never stopped, "but I don't think I can trust you."

Lex raised a pale brow. "Fair enough. I suppose there's no cause for that to have changed, is there?"

Clark blew out an exasperated sigh. "Maybe if you gave me a reason to trust you, then I could. Lex, you've done some terrible things in the last couple of years. I know that my best friend is still somewhere inside you, but I can't just ignore what you've done."

"I don't expect you to," Lex replied quietly. "That's because you're a good man who wants to do good things. I want to do good things too, Clark, but for the good of humanity instead of just one person." Lex glanced at Lana, and then looked back up to Clark. "The boy who was my friend . . . the only real friend I've ever had . . . is still inside you, too. And I've always missed him." Lex turned to leave. "Take care of yourself, Clark."

Clark hesitated, just for a moment, and then called out. "Lex, wait!"

Lex turned with a slight rustle of silk and Italian wool. "Yes, Clark?"

"I..." He couldn't find the words. All he knew was that he couldn't let Lex leave the room…leave with everything still broken between them.

Unruffled, Lex gave Clark his full attention, and waited for the younger man to gather his thoughts.

For a moment, Clark's attention returned to Lana, and he wondered if she could hear what they were saying, if she was screaming inside at the mere notion of Lex being in the same room as her. "Maybe we should go outside. This place has a garden out back."

Lex nodded agreeably. "I have a few moments before I have to head back to Metropolis."

A few moments. How was it possible to say everything he needed to say…in just a few moments? Still, he managed to lead Lex outside, grateful that Chloe seemed to be temporarily absent from the reception area.

The fresh air soothed his nerves a little as he forced himself to talk. "Lex, I know you don't remember this, but a while ago I made you a promise, and I haven't been working very hard to keep it. I want that to change."

Lex frowned, puzzled. "A promise? When was this, Clark?"

Clark rocked back in dismay. Lex was actually going to make him say it. "Earlier you accused Lana of using you to get answers. It wasn't her, it was me. I went inside your head to try and find where Lois and Kara were."

Lex stared at his former friend. "You . . . you entered my brain?" The corners of Lex's mouth tightened. "And just what did you see?”

"A lot of things. It was all kind of jumbled, but I saw a side of you that you like to keep hidden. The one that you try to ignore, and I promised him...promised you that I wouldn't give up on you."

Lex blinked up at Clark. "What did this . . . person . . . look like, Clark?"

"It was you, Lex, only you were a little boy with red hair." He paused, noticing the way Lex was now staring at him. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

Lex found himself fumbling for words, an extremely rare event for a Luthor. "I . . . no, Clark. I don't think you're crazy. Not at all." Lex swallowed hard and shook his head. "In fact . . . I think he's the part of me who hangs on so tightly to what we used to be to each other…even though you've said we can never have that again."

Clark flinched as his words were thrown back into his face. It seemed that he'd failed little Alexander just as much as he'd failed Lex. "I...I'm sorry. I know I keep saying that, but I am, and I don't want to give up on you, Lex. I want to keep my promise, but you have to help me."

Lex seemed to consider this, and then nodded. "All right, Clark. What is it I have to do?"

"Just...listen to that other part of you Lex. He's telling you the right things to do but you're shutting him out."

"A necessity because of my father," Lex replied, but even as he spoke, he remembered the voice that used to speak to him when he'd first moved to Smallville. It was the voice that told him to buy fireworks for Clark's first big party, to help Lana open the Talon, to buy the Kent's farm back for them . . . to be kind. Kind, so that Clark would reward him with that bright smile that told Lex that his friend was proud of him.

Clark shook his head. "I know you don't believe it but, by ignoring that voice, you've become your father."

"That's a lie!" Lex burst out. "I'm nothing like him, Clark! I'd never hurt you!"

"Not me," Clark agreed, "but plenty of other people. All those people in 33.1, Lex. They had lives and families before you started experimenting on them."

"And I had a future before the meteor shower, Clark!" Lex snapped back. "That day changed the course of my destiny! It turned me into something that my father was disgusted and ashamed of! I would never be the son he wanted, no matter how hard I tried! All I've ever been to anyone is a disappointment!" He looked up at Clark. "So why should you expect anything more of me, Clark?"

"Because I know you, Lex," Clark shouted, "and I know you can be so much more than that! All you've done is take the easy route, and followed your father's example! The Lex I used to know was a fighter, doing everything he could to avoid being the man you've become."

"It's difficult to fight when there's no one left to fight for, Clark!" Lex glared up at him. "I asked you once not to give up on me. But you did. And, once I lost you, there was no reason to continue the battle."

"You don't need me to be your conscience, Lex; you've got your own right here." He reached up a hand and brushed it gently over Lex's temple. "And you haven't lost me. I'm standing right here."

"I've lost something more important than your physical presence, Clark." Lex's gaze softened at the touch, but was pained all the same. "I've lost your trust."

"There's nothing lost that can't be found again," Clark whispered, repeating the words he's heard inside Lex's mind.

Lex looked up, his deep-set eyes widening. After a moment, he reached out and took both of Clark's hands. "Does that include us, Clark?"

Clark gave a small smile. "I'm willing to try if you are."

Lex returned the smile. "It might be a long road back, you know."

Clark nodded and squeezed Lex's hands inside his. “When you start walking on it, just remember that I'll be there to carry you if you get tired."

The End.