Ficlet: Coffee and Angels Do Not Mix
Jul. 20th, 2010 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fandomcornerTitle: Coffee and Angels Do Not Mix
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hils
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 583
Summary: Castiel discovers caffeine for the first time
Notes: Prompted bysamara_draven who requested Castiel drinking coffee for the first time and going bonkers from the caffeine
“Dean, what the hell did you do to him?”
Sam’s eyes flick from Dean, who is sitting on the end of the bed looking contrite, to Castiel who is looking. . .well, manic doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“Sam, I feel very strange and I want to fly but I can’t because I’m practically human now and I don’t understand what’s happening to my body and Dean says this is normal but I don’t feel normal at all.”
The words stream out of Castiel’s mouth so fast that Sam can barely follow them and Castiel is practically vibrating in his seat.
“Cas, what happened?”
“I had breakfast with Dean which was most pleasant and then we were going to have intercourse but Dean said we couldn’t because you’d be back soon and he didn’t want to traumatize you and then I started to feel strange.”
It’s pretty obvious he’s not going to get a lick of sense out of Castiel any time soon so Sam turns his attention to his brother.
“Dean?”
Dean shrugs. “What? Dude, how was I supposed to know? He was tired so I let him have some of my coffee.”
Now it’s all starting to make sense.
“Dean,” Sam groans. “You have like three shots of espresso in your coffee. No wonder he’s bouncing off the walls. He’s not exactly used to caffeine.”
Castiel frowns and looks at Sam like he’s suddenly gone insane. “I’m not bouncing from the walls, Sam. I’m sitting on the bed.”
His legs are jiggling up and down now and Sam can feel the pent up energy radiating from him. “It’s just an expression.”
This is usually the time where Castiel lectures them on using phrases he doesn’t understand but instead he jumps to his feet. “I think I shall take a long walk.”
Oh, no, this is bad.
Sam moves over and gently catches hold of Castiel’s arm before he can open the door. “You can’t. Sorry, Castiel but it’s not safe for you out there while you’re. . .” he doesn’t want to use the word powerless “. . .like this.”
Castiel lets out a low growl but doesn’t fight Sam. Instead he starts pacing the length of the motel room, which isn’t actually that long and pretty soon Sam finds himself getting dizzy just from watching him.
He’s about to suggest they all go for a long walk together when Dean steps into Castiel’s path, bringing the angel to a stop.
“I can fix this.”
Castiel looks delighted, flashing Dean a huge smile that looks plain weird compared to his usual somber expression.
“Thank you, Dean. I would very much like to stop feeling this way.”
Dean tosses a glance over his shoulder to Sam. “How about giving us some privacy, Sammy.”
“What are you going to do?” Sam frowns.
If anything Castiel’s smile actually brightens. “Are we going to engage in intercourse now, Dean?”
Sam groans. “Dude, no.”
“What? Cas needs to release some of this energy and I could use a little release myself, if you know what I mean.”
“Unfortunately, I do,” Sam sighs. “Fine, I’m going to the library.”
Castiel, to Sam’s horror, is already working at Dean’s belt so Sam quickly makes a hasty exit. No matter how fucked up their lives get seeing Dean having sex with an angel is probably the most traumatic thing he could ever witness.
He was going to make damn sure Castiel never took another sip of coffee again.
Author:
hilsPairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 583
Summary: Castiel discovers caffeine for the first time
Notes: Prompted by
samara_draven who requested Castiel drinking coffee for the first time and going bonkers from the caffeine“Dean, what the hell did you do to him?”
Sam’s eyes flick from Dean, who is sitting on the end of the bed looking contrite, to Castiel who is looking. . .well, manic doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“Sam, I feel very strange and I want to fly but I can’t because I’m practically human now and I don’t understand what’s happening to my body and Dean says this is normal but I don’t feel normal at all.”
The words stream out of Castiel’s mouth so fast that Sam can barely follow them and Castiel is practically vibrating in his seat.
“Cas, what happened?”
“I had breakfast with Dean which was most pleasant and then we were going to have intercourse but Dean said we couldn’t because you’d be back soon and he didn’t want to traumatize you and then I started to feel strange.”
It’s pretty obvious he’s not going to get a lick of sense out of Castiel any time soon so Sam turns his attention to his brother.
“Dean?”
Dean shrugs. “What? Dude, how was I supposed to know? He was tired so I let him have some of my coffee.”
Now it’s all starting to make sense.
“Dean,” Sam groans. “You have like three shots of espresso in your coffee. No wonder he’s bouncing off the walls. He’s not exactly used to caffeine.”
Castiel frowns and looks at Sam like he’s suddenly gone insane. “I’m not bouncing from the walls, Sam. I’m sitting on the bed.”
His legs are jiggling up and down now and Sam can feel the pent up energy radiating from him. “It’s just an expression.”
This is usually the time where Castiel lectures them on using phrases he doesn’t understand but instead he jumps to his feet. “I think I shall take a long walk.”
Oh, no, this is bad.
Sam moves over and gently catches hold of Castiel’s arm before he can open the door. “You can’t. Sorry, Castiel but it’s not safe for you out there while you’re. . .” he doesn’t want to use the word powerless “. . .like this.”
Castiel lets out a low growl but doesn’t fight Sam. Instead he starts pacing the length of the motel room, which isn’t actually that long and pretty soon Sam finds himself getting dizzy just from watching him.
He’s about to suggest they all go for a long walk together when Dean steps into Castiel’s path, bringing the angel to a stop.
“I can fix this.”
Castiel looks delighted, flashing Dean a huge smile that looks plain weird compared to his usual somber expression.
“Thank you, Dean. I would very much like to stop feeling this way.”
Dean tosses a glance over his shoulder to Sam. “How about giving us some privacy, Sammy.”
“What are you going to do?” Sam frowns.
If anything Castiel’s smile actually brightens. “Are we going to engage in intercourse now, Dean?”
Sam groans. “Dude, no.”
“What? Cas needs to release some of this energy and I could use a little release myself, if you know what I mean.”
“Unfortunately, I do,” Sam sighs. “Fine, I’m going to the library.”
Castiel, to Sam’s horror, is already working at Dean’s belt so Sam quickly makes a hasty exit. No matter how fucked up their lives get seeing Dean having sex with an angel is probably the most traumatic thing he could ever witness.
He was going to make damn sure Castiel never took another sip of coffee again.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-07-20 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 01:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-20 01:30 pm (UTC)This is very cute!
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Date: 2010-07-20 01:32 pm (UTC)Thanks bb!
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Date: 2010-07-20 01:41 pm (UTC)I'll be over here, laughing at Sam's trauma, pretending I don't want a coffee so bad I could cry. *is in withdrawal*
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Date: 2010-07-20 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 01:44 pm (UTC)But hyper!Cas is very amusing, and I like Dean's plan to get him to expell energy ;)
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Date: 2010-07-20 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 01:47 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2010-07-20 05:24 pm (UTC)Caffeinated!Cas
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Date: 2010-07-20 07:24 pm (UTC)Hee hee. Such a Castiel line :) This was fun!
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Date: 2010-07-20 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 07:28 pm (UTC)Great fic.
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Date: 2010-07-20 07:37 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2010-08-08 11:19 pm (UTC)This made me laugh so hardXD
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Date: 2010-08-08 11:33 pm (UTC)